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Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad---And Surprising Good---About Feeling Special by Dr. Craig Malkin
At the warmer end of authoritarianism there’s “helicopter parenting,” a term that’s used liberally—and for the most part incorrectly. Some people think that helicopter parenting is defined by extreme involvement in their kids’ lives—for example, having daily contact with college-age children, helping them pick their course majors or develop term paper topics—all of which, according to research, might be associated with a host of benefits, including happiness and better grades. Psychologists, however, define helicopter parenting more precisely, reserving the term for a pattern of excessive control and interference. College students who have been reared this way agree with statements like “My mother monitors my exercise schedule” and “If I’m having an issue with my roommate, my mother would try to intervene.” Helicopter parents aren’t frigid but their constant interference makes them seem coldly indifferent to their child’s feelings.
Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 2014, vol. 119, pp. 26–39. Padilla-Walker, L. M., and L. J. Nelson. Black Hawk down? Establishing helicopter parenting as a distinct construct from other forms of parental control during emerging adulthood. Journal of Adolescence, 2012, vol. 35(5), pp. 1177–90. Phelan, T. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective discipline for children 2–12. ParentMagic, Inc., 2010. Ryder, J. A. College Student Volunteerism: A quantitative analysis of psychological benefits gained through time spent in service to others. ProQuest Information & Learning, 2006, dissertation 66. Schiffrin, H. H., M. Liss, H. Miles-McLean, K. A. Geary, M. J. Erchull, and T. Tashner. Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 2014, vol. 23(3), pp. 548–57. Segrin, C., A.
See also colleagues; family; relationships arousal and, 135 ending friendships, 134–36 excitement and, 135 expectations and, 135 in healthy SoMe strategies, 190–91 narcissism warning signs, 110–12 online, 191 stealth control, 111 unhealthy narcissism in, 135 G gender roles, 35–36 Generation Me (Twenge), 24 GenerationWe, 26 genetic predispositions, 63 Gentile, Brittany, 186–87, 189 gifted, 162 givers, 34 Gooden, Beverly, 193 Google+, 186 Google maps, 187 grandiosity, 45, 77 greatness, 71, 88 greed, 16 guilt, 63, 69, 84, 96 H habits addiction and, 90 habitual echoists, 31 narcissism, 124 harmony, 65 Hart, Claire, 117 healthy narcissism (HN) enjoying dreams, 75–79 following desires, 203 heart of, 44–45 merging passion and compassion, 206 recipe for, 79 SoMe damaging, 187 striking balance, 13–14 test score, 52, 54–55 unlocking authentic passion, 204 waxing and waning, 11–12 healthy SoMe strategies (SoWe) avoid image churning, 195–96 be intentional, 196–97 be open, 191–92 find community with purpose, 193–95 follow wisely, 197–99 overview, 189–90 surround yourself with real friends, 190–91 topic #whyIstayed and, 193–95 helicopter parenting, 165 helplessness, 146 Hepper, Erica, 117 Hill, Robert, 36 Hillel the Elder, 13–14 Hitler, Adolf, 18, 21, 201 HN. See healthy narcissism (HN) Hobbes, Thomas, 16 honesty, 133, 135, 142 hopelessness, 15, 127 hot-potato pass, 146–47 “How I See Myself Scale,” 9 human behavior models, 32 human nature, 15, 16, 18, 21 Hussein, Saddam, 201 hypersensitivity, 34 I idealism, 26 identity, 64, 182–84 idol worship, 108, 124 image churning, 195–96 imperfections, 108 impulsive behavior, 162 inadequacy, 120, 183 independence, 178 indifferent or neglectful parenting style, 167–68 inner life, 204 insecurity concealing, 118 insecure love, 63–64 in relationships, 100 running theme, 101–4 sadness and, 124 underlying, 146 weathering, 88 insensitivity, 118 insight, 43 insults, 88, 138, 143, 174 interference, 203 intimacy approaching, 110 disappointment deepening, 130 enjoying, 54 genuine, 204 hopes of deeper, 112 secure, 133 introversion, 62–64 introverted narcissism demanding attention, 74 silent race to greatness, 88 in spectrum, 33–35 weaknesses and, 204–5 J judgments, 112, 135, 147, 198 K Kalyango, Yusuf, 187 Kernberg, Otto, 96 background, 17–18 dark narcissists and, 21–23, 27 Kinison, Sam, 198 Kohut, Heinz on children becoming narcissists, 20–21 empathic approach, 22–23, 27 mental health giant, 17 self-psychology school of thought, 18–21 L language, 144, 150 Le, Benjamin, 10–11 leadership, 9, 17, 63, 88 life goals, 117 life stages, 12 loneliness concealing, 13, 118 deeper feeling of, 120 sharing, 43 love devaluing, 115 faith in, 78 guiding with, 168 hiding longings for, 73 insecure, 63–64 limits as form of, 175 online, 197 risking, 123 secure, 63, 78–79, 115, 120, 199 toxic, 114 low profile, 63, 140–41 M Mad Men, 30 Madoff, Bernie, 30 malignant narcissists, 22–23 manipulation choosing adventures for others, 107 enjoying, 25 entitlement and, 100 evidence of, 119 penchant for, 11 Martin, Shannon, 48 megalomaniacs, 17, 21 “The Metamorphosis of Narcissus” (Finkel, Campbell, Buffardi), 115–17 microblogging, 193 millennials, 26 mirroring desires, 65 family, 69 NPD and, 95 parents, 69 providing, 19 modesty, 46, 53 morale, 138 morals, 95 Myspace, 187, 189, 196 N Näcke, Paul, 17 name-calling, 174 Namie, Gary, 143, 156 Namie, Ruth, 143, 156 narcissism.
The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure by Greg Lukianoff, Jonathan Haidt
AltaVista, Bernie Sanders, bitcoin, Black Swan, cognitive dissonance, correlation does not imply causation, demographic transition, Donald Trump, Ferguson, Missouri, Filter Bubble, helicopter parent, hygiene hypothesis, income inequality, Internet Archive, Isaac Newton, low skilled workers, Mahatma Gandhi, mass immigration, mass incarceration, means of production, moral panic, Nelson Mandela, Ralph Nader, risk tolerance, Silicon Valley, Snapchat, Steven Pinker, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, Unsafe at Any Speed
The rising political polarization in the United States, in which universities are increasingly seen as bastions of the left, has led to an increase in hostility and harassment from some off-campus right-wing individuals and groups. Some of these events qualify as hate crimes and are targeted especially at Jews and people of color. We discuss that thread in this chapter. Rising rates of teen depression and anxiety affect both boys and girls but have hit young women particularly hard (as you’ll see in chapter 7). The rise in overprotective or “helicopter” parenting and the decline of free play (chapters 8 and 9) have negatively affected kids from wealthier families (mostly white and Asian)1 more than kids from working class or poor families. The increase in the number of campus administrators, along with the scope of their duties, may be having an effect at all schools (chapter 10), but new ideas and stronger passions about social justice may matter most on campuses where students are more engaged politically (chapter 11).
Activities that are commonly thought to mark the transition from childhood to adulthood are happening later—for example, having a job, driving a car, drinking alcohol, going out on a date, and having sex. Members of iGen wait longer to do these things— and then do less of them—than did members of previous generations. Instead of engaging in these activities (which usually involve interacting with other people face-to-face), teens today are spending much more time alone, interacting with screens.8 Of special importance, the combination of helicopter parenting, fears for children’s safety, and the allure of screens means that members of iGen spend much less time than previous generations did going out with friends while unsupervised by an adult. The bottom line is that when members of iGen arrived on campus, beginning in the fall of 2013, they had accumulated less unsupervised time and fewer offline life experiences than had any previous generation.
Parents spending time with their kids is generally a good thing, but too much close supervision and protection can morph into safetyism. Safetyism takes children who are antifragile by nature and turns them into young adults who are more fragile and and anxious, and therefore more receptive to the Untruth of Fragility: What doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. Pressured Into Overprotection When parents get together and talk about parenting, it is common to hear condemnations of helicopter parenting. Many parents want to do less hovering and give their kids more freedom, but it’s not so easy; there are pressures from other parents, from schools, and even from laws that push parents to be more protective than they would like to be. Skenazy says that societal pressures often prompt parents to engage in “worst-first thinking.”32 Unless parents prepare for the worst possible outcomes, they are looked down on by other parents and by teachers for being bad parents (or even “America’s Worst Mom”).
The End of the Suburbs: Where the American Dream Is Moving by Leigh Gallagher
Airbnb, big-box store, Burning Man, call centre, car-free, Celebration, Florida, clean water, collaborative consumption, Columbine, commoditize, crack epidemic, East Village, edge city, Edward Glaeser, extreme commuting, helicopter parent, Home mortgage interest deduction, housing crisis, Jane Jacobs, Kickstarter, low skilled workers, Mark Zuckerberg, McMansion, Menlo Park, mortgage tax deduction, negative equity, New Urbanism, peak oil, Peter Calthorpe, Ponzi scheme, Richard Florida, Robert Shiller, Robert Shiller, Sand Hill Road, Seaside, Florida, Silicon Valley, Steve Jobs, Stewart Brand, the built environment, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, Tony Hsieh, transit-oriented development, upwardly mobile, urban planning, urban sprawl, Victor Gruen, walkable city, white flight, white picket fence, young professional, Zipcar
These factors might also help explain the lack of stigma associated with moving back home for this group: the Pew Research Center found that 80 percent of those twenty-five- to thirty-four-year-olds who have moved back in with their parents are just fine with the arrangement—something that would have been unthinkable a generation ago. Another oft-cited factor for the millennials’ failure to launch is that so many in this group were raised by “helicopter parents,” so named for their tendency to hover over their kids at all times. Helicopter parents don’t want to see their children suffer the harsh realities of the real world, the thinking goes, and their children, having been raised to believe their parents will always be there to solve their problems, are reluctant to separate. Nadira Hira, author and Gen Y expert, sees it a little differently: “We’ve always been close to our parents because they’ve always been so invested in us,” she says, adding that technology has only made it easier and more acceptable for millennials to consult with their parents on just about everything.
., 183 Environment destruction and suburban development, 47–48, 68 farmland, developments built on, 38, 68, 182 pollution and automobiles, 46, 99, 108 Euclid, Ohio, 40 Euclidean zoning, 41 Extell Development Company, 151 Families. See also Adolescents; Aging population; Children children in suburbs, decline of, 145–47 demographic factors. See Population elders in suburbs, 143–45, 147–150 empty nesters, 172 in “first ring” suburbs, 202–3 free time, in walkable communities, 133, 170–71 helicopter parents, 153–54 multigenerational, 152–55 suburban move-up buyers, 7, 189–190 young, preference for cities, 111–12, 151–52, 169–172, 204–5 Family size decrease in, 5, 19, 144–47 millennials-parents living together, 152–55 multigenerational homes, 156–57 Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac, 187 Farmland buying back by farmers, 106, 182–84 developments built on, 38, 68, 182 Federal-Aid Highway Act (1956), 38, 62 Federal government, and suburban development, 35, 42–43, 61–63, 65–67, 192 Federal Housing Administration (FHA), 35, 40, 42, 61, 126, 206 Federal Housing Finance Agency, 187 “First ring” suburbs, 202–3 Floral Avenue, Illinois, 141–42 Florida, Richard, 92, 127, 166 “Fonzie flats,” 156 Ford, Gerald, 168 Ford, Henry, 32, 82 Foreclosures and housing bust, 73–74 new versus foreclosed home buying, 208 repossessed homes, reuse of, 186–87, 205–6 Fort Point, Boston, 168 Free time, in walkable communities, 133, 170–71 Frey, William, 150, 180 Fullerton, California, 38 Futurama, 64 Future communities.
See Aging population; Baby boomers; Gen Y; Millennials Gen Y, 144, 152, 153 Georgetown, Washington, DC, 40, 121, 125 Germantown, Philadelphia, 29 GI Bill (1944), 35 Gibson, Denise, 200–201 Gibson, Steve, 178 Gillen, Kevin, 15, 131 Glaeser, Edward, 75, 92, 158–59, 166, 175 Glen, The, Illinois, 128 Gore, Al, 21 Grand Central Station, 30 Granny flats, 156 Great Depression, 32, 34, 76 Great Plains, 184 Great Recession birth rate decline during, 145 home-building bust, 3–4, 182 home-related disaster, 72–75 minimalist mentality emerging from, 138–39 mortgages, cheap in, 66 suburban poor, rise of, 177–79 Greenwich Village, New York City, 29 Gruen, Victor, 48 Gwinnett County, Atlanta, 68 Hampstead, Alabama, 121 Haskell, Llewellyn, 31 Haussmann, Baron, 118 Health healthier communities, features of, 87 problems, automobile dependence, 86–89, 97, 99 walking, benefits of, 93–94 Helicopter parents, 153–54 Henshaw, Jim, 143–44 Highways, 34, 62 Hill, Graham, 139 Hipsturbias, 129–130, 202 Hira, Nadira, 153–54, 158 History of suburbia, 27–52 automobile in, 32–34, 41–42, 81–82 bedroom communities, 31 cities, decline of, 29 corporation relocations to, 44 England, 28 federal master-plan in, 35, 42–43, 61–63, 65–67, 192 housing boom (2000s), 66–72 McMansion era, 69–71 malls/big-box stores, 44–45 marketing of suburbs, 64–69 mass-produced communities, 37–38, 46, 70 post–World War II expansion, 35–38, 41, 65 racial homogeneity, 42–43 single-use zoning, effects of, 39–42, 63 socioeconomic status in, 28 sprawl/edge cities, 45–46 and transportation advances, 29–34, 62 urban migration into (1970s), 44 villages, early design, 30–32, 40–41 Hoboken, New Jersey, 193 Hollander, Justin, 185–86 Home-building decline farmland, reversion to farming, 106, 182–84 and Great Depression, 34–35 and Great Recession, 3–4, 72–73 zombie subdivisions, 182 Home-building increase housing boom (2000s), 66–72 post–Great Recession, 197–98 post–World War II, 35–38 urban developments, 18, 23, 163–66, 172, 190 Home-building industry cities, development in, 163–66 compound concepts, 157 future uncertainties, 159–162 home size decrease, 22, 136–140 millennials’ impact on, 155–59 multifamily construction, rise in, 6, 16, 18, 198 multigenerational homes, 156–57 shifting market activities, 6–7, 16 Home Depot, 45 Home ownership as American ideal, 65–66, 76–77 housing boom (2000s), 66–72 minorities, lower percentage, 43 Home Owners’ Loan Corporation (HOLC), 42 Home size decrease in, 22, 136–140 McMansions, 69–71, 136, 205 median ideal size, 136 small-home movement, 138–140, 159 Home values and community physical design, 131–32 decline in suburbs, 15–16, 21, 111 increase in cities, 15, 188 old versus new homes, 200 in walkable communities, 111, 130–32 Hsieh, Tony, 92, 174–76 IBM, 44 Immigrants, settling in suburbs, 177–78 Industrialization, 28–29 Inland Empire, California, 46, 73, 95, 192 I’On, South Carolina, 121 Jackson, Kenneth T., 10, 27, 34, 91, 104, 110, 179 Jackson, Richard, 87, 89, 90 Jacobs, Jane, 23, 47–49, 119, 175 JCPenney, 172–73 Jersey City, New Jersey, 193 Jobs, Steve, 93, 116–17 Kahneman, Daniel, 97 Kannan, Shyam, 198 Kasarda, John, 166 Katz, Bruce, 75–76, 203, 207 Keats, John, 38 Keenan, Linda Erin, 91–92 Kentlands, Maryland, 121–25, 131 Kirr, Joy, 51 Klinenberg, Eric, 146 Kneebone, Elizabeth, 177 Kotkin, Joel, 193 Krier, Léon, 116 Krueger, Alan, 97 Kunstler, James Howard, 105–6, 189, 195 on future of suburbs, 206 suburbia, negative view of, 22–23, 52 Lake Forest, Illinois, 41 Lakelands, Maryland, 121 Lakewood, California, 38 Land.
Hothouse Kids: The Dilemma of the Gifted Child by Alissa Quart
affirmative action, Albert Einstein, cognitive dissonance, deliberate practice, Flynn Effect, haute couture, helicopter parent, knowledge worker, longitudinal study, meta analysis, meta-analysis, new economy, Norbert Wiener, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ronald Reagan, Stephen Hawking, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, the scientific method, Thomas L Friedman, War on Poverty
And this sort of bracketing, according to Dweck, can shadow a child’s mental development. Similarly, child psychologists and educators argue that micromanaging children’s time and activities can impair children’s ability to manage themselves later in their life. Children who are unaccustomed to making their own choices may fail to develop autonomy or find a social community. This negative quality of some extreme parents has earned them the moniker “helicopter parents” in the popular media. Appearing in the book Millennials Go to College, coauthored by William Strauss and Neil Howe, the term was used to describe extreme parents, although not solely those of gifted children. Rather they were described as parents who “hover over the school at all times, waiting to drop in at the least sign of trouble.” A tragic event in March 2005 inspired heated discussions of the possible pitfalls of intense parenting.
Tippins, The Stigma of Genius: Einstein, Consciousness, and Education (Peter Lang Publishing, 1999). 139according to Carol Dweck: Carol Dweck, “Beliefs that Make Smart People Dumb,” Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid, ed. R. J. Sternberg (New Haven, Conn.: Yale University Press, 2002); Carol Dweck, “Caution—Praise Can Be Dangerous,” American Educator 23, no. 1 (1999); C. M. Mueller and C. S. Dweck, “Intelligence Praise Can Undermine Motivation and Performance,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 75 (1998). 139the moniker “helicopter parents”: William Strauss and Neil Howe, Millennials Go to College: Strategies for a New Generation on Campus (Washington, D.C.: American Association of Collegiate Registrars, 2003). 144a 2001 study by the National Institute of Mental Health: National Institute of Mental Health, In Harm’s Way: Suicide in America, a Brief Overview of Suicide Statistics and Prevention (Washington, D.C.: National Institute of Mental Health, 2003). 144“a paucity of research”: Tracy L.
See classes for infants and toddlers; gifted education ERB (Educational Records Bureau) test Erector sets Ericsson, Anders Erikson, Erik Evan Thomas Institute, Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential (IAHP) experience-dependent and experience-expectant brain functions extreme parenting aggressiveness and competitiveness conferences and activities developmental stake in child’s future “helicopter parents,” homeschooling idealization of children, perception of childhood negative aspects and dangers of rejection of giftedness competition restraint in and self-perception of parents and sensitivity of gifted children FairTest Farrell, Tom Father and Son (Gosse) Fedoruk, Dennis Feldman, David Henry Fenton, Michael Fenton, Susan fetal enrichment auditory overstimulation risk supplements for Fine, Gary Alan Fineberg, Jonathan Fisher-Price Flynn effect in intelligence testing Forensics Tournament, Harvard National High School Invitational formulas, mind-enhancing Foster, Joanne Foster, Karen Francis, Clark Frankenstein (Shelley) Freud, Sigmund Fry, Roger games.
The Tyranny of Merit: What’s Become of the Common Good? by Michael J. Sandel
affirmative action, Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, anti-communist, Berlin Wall, Bernie Sanders, Boris Johnson, Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, centre right, coronavirus, COVID-19, Credit Default Swap, Deng Xiaoping, Donald Trump, ending welfare as we know it, facts on the ground, Fall of the Berlin Wall, financial deregulation, financial innovation, global supply chain, helicopter parent, High speed trading, immigration reform, income inequality, Khan Academy, laissez-faire capitalism, meta analysis, meta-analysis, Nate Silver, new economy, obamacare, Occupy movement, plutocrats, Plutocrats, Ronald Reagan, smart grid, Steve Jobs, Steven Levy, the market place, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, Washington Consensus
Today, students commonly seek out the most selective college that will admit them. 12 Parenting styles have also changed, especially among the professional classes. As the income gap grows, so does the fear of falling. Seeking to avert this danger, parents became intensely involved with their children’s lives—managing their time, monitoring their grades, directing their activities, curating their college qualifications. 13 This epidemic of overbearing, helicopter parenting did not come from nowhere. It is an anxious but understandable response to rising inequality and the desire of affluent parents to spare their progeny the precarity of middle-class life. A degree from a name-brand university has come to be seen as the primary vehicle of upward mobility for those seeking to rise and the surest bulwark against downward mobility for those hoping to remain ensconced in the comfortable classes.
Other consultants specialize in creating customized summer foreign travel programs designed to produce compelling fodder for college application essays. 63 This meritocratic arms race tilts the competition in favor of the wealthy and enables affluent parents to pass their privilege on to their kids. This way of transmitting privilege is doubly objectionable. For those who lack the apparatus of advantage, it is unfair; for children entangled in the apparatus, it is oppressive. The meritocratic struggle gives rise to a culture of invasive, achievement-driven, pushy parenting that does not serve teenagers well. The rise of helicopter parenting coincides with the decades when meritocratic competition intensified. In fact, the use of “parent” as a verb only became common in the 1970s, when the need to prepare children for academic success came to be seen as a pressing parental responsibility. 64 From 1976 to 2012, the amount of time American parents devoted to helping their children with their homework increased more than fivefold. 65 As the college admission stakes grew, anxious, intrusive parenting became a common affliction.
We had become “so obsessed with our kids’ success,” Time observed, “that parenting turned into a form of product development.” The drive to manage childhood now began early. “Among 6-to-8-year-olds, free playtime dropped 25% from 1981 to ’97, and homework more than doubled.” 66 In an intriguing study, the economists Matthias Doepke and Fabrizio Zilibotti offer an economic explanation for the rise of helicopter parenting, which they define as “the heavily involved, time-intensive, controlling child-rearing approach that has become widespread over the last three decades.” They argue that such parenting is a rational response to rising inequality and increasing returns to education. Although intensive parenting has increased in many societies in recent decades, it is most pronounced in places where inequality is greatest, such as the United States and South Korea, and less prevalent in countries such as Sweden and Japan, where inequality is less acute. 67 Understandable though it may be, parents’ drive to direct and manage their children’s lives for meritocratic success has taken a harsh psychological toll, especially on pre-college teenagers.
The Vanishing Neighbor: The Transformation of American Community by Marc J. Dunkelman
Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, Albert Einstein, assortative mating, Berlin Wall, big-box store, blue-collar work, Bretton Woods, Broken windows theory, business cycle, call centre, clean water, cuban missile crisis, dark matter, David Brooks, delayed gratification, different worldview, double helix, Downton Abbey, Fall of the Berlin Wall, Filter Bubble, Francis Fukuyama: the end of history, George Santayana, Gini coefficient, glass ceiling, global supply chain, global village, helicopter parent, if you build it, they will come, impulse control, income inequality, invention of movable type, Jane Jacobs, Khyber Pass, Louis Pasteur, Marshall McLuhan, McMansion, Nate Silver, obamacare, Occupy movement, Peter Thiel, post-industrial society, Richard Florida, rolodex, Saturday Night Live, Silicon Valley, Skype, social intelligence, Stanford marshmallow experiment, Steve Jobs, telemarketer, The Chicago School, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, the medium is the message, Tyler Cowen: Great Stagnation, urban decay, urban planning, Walter Mischel, War on Poverty, women in the workforce, World Values Survey, zero-sum game
The average number of weekly hours that mothers spent caring directly for their children grew from ten in 1965 to thirteen in 2000; among fathers, the number more than doubled from three to seven over the same thirty-five-year span.11 As Fischer once explained to me, our perception is that families are eating at home less, but if the substitute is to go out for dinner, the net outcome may reveal that their time together has not diminished at all.12 By another standard, in fact, the problem isn’t that American children are getting too little parenting—it’s that they’re getting too much. The term “helicopter parent” found its way into the popular lexicon because of concern that children are being micromanaged, sometimes well into their early adulthood.13 The percentage of Americans between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-four living with their parents—quite high in the early postwar years when multigenerational households were more common—nearly doubled between 1980 and 2010, from 11 percent to more than 21 percent.14 Maybe most important, 63 percent of those between the ages of eighteen and thirty-four know someone who has moved back in.
Fischer, Still Connected (New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2011), 56. 10Miller McPherson, Lynn Smith-Lovin, and Matthew E. Brashears, “Social Isolation in America,” American Sociological Review 71 (June 2006): 361. 11Suzanne Bianchi, John P. Robinson, and Melissa A. Milkie, Changing Rhythms of American Family Life (New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2006), 63. 12Conversation with Claude S. Fischer, March 15, 2012. 13Stephanie Armour, “ ‘Helicopter’ Parents Hover When Kids Job Hunt,” USA Today, April 23, 2007; Jennifer Finney Boylan, “A Freshman All Over Again,” New York Times, August 23, 2012. 14Kim Parker, “The Boomerang Generation: Feeling OK about Living with Mom and Dad,” Pew Research Social & Demographic Trends, March 15, 2012. 15Parker, “The Boomerang Generation,” 6–7. 16“Families Drawn Together By Communication Revolution.” Pew Research Center, February 21, 2006. 17Phil Gardner, “Parent Involvement in the College Recruiting Process: To What Extent?”
., 220–22, 225 grit, 5, 6, 216–25 Grove, Andy, 10 Guest, Avery, 118 Gutenberg, Johann, 162 “habits of the heart,” 81, 89, 115, 138, 258n Habits of the Heart (Bellah), 65–66, 141, 258n Hampton, Keith, 118–19 Harlem Children’s Zone (HCZ), 222, 224 health, health care, 101, 197–211 costs of, 198–200, 204–5, 206, 209–10 public, 197, 199, 204 quality of life and, 31, 51, 52, 57–60, 204 Hearst, William Randolph, 188 heart attack, 58, 200, 207 Heckman, James, 223 helicopter parent, 106 Henry, Peter Blair, 179–81 history, 51, 59, 67, 68, 230–34 affirmation and, 109, 110 of American community, 79–89 Dunbar’s number and, 94 Tofflers’ view of, 15–16 hitchhiking, 132–35 Hoffman, Dustin, 28 homogeneity, 46–47, 135, 147–48, 189, 191 homophobia, 42, 43, 51 homosexuality, 42–43, 87, 88 hospitals, 197, 199–204, 206–7 House of Representatives, U.S., xvi, 182, 184–85, 186 Hout, Mike, 237–38 Hughes, Charles Evans, 187 Hunter, James Davison, 69 hunter-gatherers, 16, 92, 142, 144–45 Hussein, Saddam, 67 Hutterites, 94 identity, 20, 42, 74, 130, 146 immigrants, 79, 82–83, 88, 232 income, xv, 21, 147, 180, 216, 227 discretionary, 55 inequality and, 21–24, 31 national, 21–22, 54 online communities and, 250n working women and, 27, 28 independence, 28–29, 30, 52, 57, 60, 106, 138, 151 of elderly, 197, 203, 207, 208–9 individualism, 65–66, 73, 74, 102 networked, 111 industrial paradigm, 14–15, 26, 82, 84–87, 170–71, 233 Industrial Revolution, xiii, 4, 16, 85, 86, 127, 138, 166, 201 inequality, economic, 21–24, 26, 31 information, 6–8, 18, 21, 26, 138, 260n brought together in a new way, 159–66, 209 Chinatown bus effect and, 35–38 information technology, 13, 16, 125, 141–43, 187, 209 affirmation and, 103–4, 108, 109–10 online communities and, 114–15 infrastructure, xiv, xv, xvi, 11, 25, 45, 194, 236 decay of, 229, 230 health, 200–201, 203–4, 206, 210 Inglehart, Ronald, 67–69, 73 inner directedness, 5–7 inner-ring relationships, see intimate relationships innovation, xiii, xvii, xviii, 158–75, 209 intellectual cross-fertilization, 158–68 interdependence, 17, 85–86 intermarriage: educational, 43–44 racial, 68 Internet, 10, 18, 36, 37, 121, 125, 146, 250n interracial marriage, 68 intimate relationships (inner-ring relationships), 92, 93, 96, 119–20, 137, 138–39, 145, 238 affirmation and, 103–7, 110, 112, 115 Chinatown Bus effect and, 42–46 health care and, 201, 204, 210 see also marriage iPhones, 160, 231 Iraq, 67 isolation: intellectual, 176 social, 73, 87, 113, 115, 118–19, 122, 127, 149, 207 Issacson, Walter, 164 Italy, 17, 163 It Gets Better Project, 43 Jackson, Kenneth, 40 Jacobs, Jane, 85–88, 127, 166–68, 170, 176 Jamaica, 179–81, 191 James, LeBron, 8–9 Japan, 226, 233 Jews, Orthodox, 98–99 jobs, 18–20, 23, 24, 27, 29, 30, 131, 139, 170–71, 235–36, 260n–61n affirmation and, 104–5, 107 assembly line, 53, 85 exporting of, 197–98 service, 18–19, 53, 132, 138, 236 Jobs, Steve, 10, 64, 160, 164–65 Johansson, Frans, 163, 168, 172 Johnson, Lyndon B., 127, 187, 210 Johnson, Steven, 159 Kahneman, Daniel, 13 Kelling, George, 150 Kelly, Mervin, 164 Kennedy, Robert, 206 Kenner, Edward, 158, 159 Kentucky, 147–48 Kerry, John, 47 Keynes, John Maynard, 53 Khrushchev, Nikita, 56 King, Martin Luther, Jr., 24, 46, 108–9, 128, 238 King, Stephen, 123 Kiwanis Club, 44, 45, 116 “Knowledge Is Power Program” (KIPP), 222, 223, 224 Koestler, Arthur, 158–60, 162, 166 Krebs cycle, 220–22 Ku Klux Klan, 111, 146 labor, labor unions, 14, 19, 20, 23, 53, 180, 181 leadership, xv, xvii, 23, 101, 108–9, 182, 186, 191 Leave It to Beaver (TV show), 34–35, 51 legislative districts, manipulation of (gerrymandering), xvi, 182–86, 189 Lehigh Valley, 170, 171 leisure, 53, 104–5, 139 Levin, David, 223 Levitt, Steven, 133–34 Lexus and the Olive Tree, The (Friedman), 141, 151–52 LGBT rights, 24, 42–43 libraries, 18, 36, 37 lifespan, longevity, 17, 31, 57–60, 62, 199, 204–5 Lincoln, Abraham, 228 Ling, Richard, 122–23 Lipset, Seymour Martin, 231 LISTSERVs, 114, 151 Little House on the Prairie (TV show), xii, 247n lobbyists, 183, 187, 229 Locke, Richard, 165, 172 Lonely Crowd, The (Riesman), 5–6, 7, 65, 141 Loose Connections (Wuthnow), 239 Lorain, Ohio, 79–80, 135 “lord of the manor” community, xii–xiii, 81 Lowery, Rev.
The Other Side of Happiness: Embracing a More Fearless Approach to Living by Brock Bastian
cognitive dissonance, delayed gratification, dematerialisation, Donald Trump, helicopter parent, impulse control, income inequality, longitudinal study, meta analysis, meta-analysis, placebo effect, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), Steven Pinker, upwardly mobile, women in the workforce
We have become convinced our children need to feel good about themselves, to maintain a positive self-image. To this end, we seek to protect them from experiencing failure or disappointment in life, and instead we bolster their self-esteem. Yet, in so doing we are not making them better people or more proactive members of society; rather we are increasing their self-importance and self-entitlement. THE RISE OF THE HELICOPTER PARENT As parents, we seem to be hovering over our children more than before. A study conducted in 2004 by Liana Sayer and her colleagues confirms this suspicion.10 She asked parents to fill in a time diary for a 24-hour period, indicating what their primary activities were over that time. Contrary to received wisdom, she found both mothers and fathers reported spending greater amounts of time caring for their children in the late 1990s than in the ‘family-oriented’ 1960s.
From 1993 to 2005, sexual assaults on teenagers decreased by 52 per cent. Other crimes against children aged twelve to seventeen years old have also declined, including simple assault (down 59%), robbery (down 62%) and larceny (down 54%). The evidence is running counter to our intuition on these matters: instead of becoming more dangerous, the world is in fact becoming significantly safer. So why the helicopter parenting? There are two possible answers to this question. The first is that while aggression, violence and crime are in decline, so is our trust in others. Robert Putnam, in his book Bowling Alone,13 documents how people are less likely to rely on others than ever, marking a decline in ‘social capital’. The notion of social capital reflects the idea that while I could use my economic capital (money) to buy a cup of sugar, I could use my social capital to ask my neighbour for a cup of sugar instead.
Giving the Devil His Due: Reflections of a Scientific Humanist by Michael Shermer
Alfred Russel Wallace, anthropic principle, anti-communist, barriers to entry, Berlin Wall, Boycotts of Israel, Chelsea Manning, clean water, clockwork universe, cognitive dissonance, Colonization of Mars, Columbine, cosmological constant, cosmological principle, creative destruction, dark matter, Donald Trump, Edward Snowden, Elon Musk, Flynn Effect, germ theory of disease, gun show loophole, Hans Rosling, hedonic treadmill, helicopter parent, hindsight bias, illegal immigration, income inequality, invisible hand, Johannes Kepler, Joseph Schumpeter, laissez-faire capitalism, Laplace demon, luminiferous ether, McMansion, means of production, mega-rich, Menlo Park, moral hazard, moral panic, More Guns, Less Crime, Peter Singer: altruism, phenotype, positional goods, race to the bottom, Richard Feynman, Ronald Coase, Silicon Valley, Skype, social intelligence, stem cell, Stephen Hawking, Steve Jobs, Steven Pinker, the scientific method, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, transaction costs, WikiLeaks, working poor, Yogi Berra
We now know that 2013 was a pivotal year as this is when the iGen (or Gen Z) generation of students born in 1995 or after began to enter college, and as Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt demonstrate in their 2018 book The Coddling of the American Mind, this generation differs significantly from Millennials (born after 1981), Gen Xers (born mid 1960s), and Baby Boomers (born after the Second World War), most notably in how they were raised (helicopter parenting) and what that means for how a “coddled” generation handles challenges. But there is much more to the story as I see it, and this article is my hypothesis of what went wrong. * * * The French political journalist and supporter of the Royalist cause in the French Revolution, Jacques Mallet du Pan, famously summarized what often happens to extremists: “the Revolution devours its children.”1 I was thinking about this idiom – and it’s doppleganger “what goes around comes around” – while writing a lecture for a talk I was invited to give at my alma mater, California State University, Fullerton, on the topic: “Is freedom of speech harmful for college students?”
This fearmongering had turned me into a timid, stay-at-home, emotionally fragile bore.21 It is not that there are no longer real victims of actual crimes, but it is a disservice to them to equate the trivial peccadillos of microaggressions or triggering words with brutal rapes and murders. A feminist blogger named Melody Hensley, for example, claims that years of online stalking and social-media trolls gave her PTSD on par with that of combat soldiers, disabling her from being able to work. Not surprisingly, war vets were not sympathetic.22 (3) From Anti-Fragile to Fragile Children. One response to the 1970s and 1980s crime wave was a shift toward “helicopter parenting” in which children were no longer allowed to be, well, children. The social psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains why through the concept of anti-fragility: Bone is anti-fragile. If you treat it gently, it will get brittle and break. Bone actually needs to get banged around to toughen up. And so do children. I’m not saying they need to be spanked or beaten, but they need to have a lot of unsupervised time, to get in over their heads and get themselves out.
., 295 Grobman, Alex, 20, 78 Gross, Paul, 317 gun control denying publicity to mass murderers, 179–180 effects in Austria, 187–190 high-capacity magazines, 175 proposals for, 179–180 proposals to prevent Sandy Hook Events, 171–175 rights of citizens and, 175–176 statistics for individual homicides and mass killings, 163–165 gun control debate deaths from gun violence compared to terrorism violence, 191–192 defense against tyranny argument, 178–179 different metaphors for the nation as a family, 192–197 link between gun onwership and gun deaths, 182–191 machine gun regulation and restriction, 191 self-defense argument, 177–178 views of John Lott, 182–191 what conservatives and liberals really differ on, 192–197 gun culture effectiveness of gun controls, 29 gun law reform Australia, 174–175 guns in the home statistics for deaths related to, 164–165 Guth, Alan, 122 Haidt, Jonathan, 65, 74, 132, 245, 303 Hamlet, 265 Hancock, Graham claim of an ancient lost civilization, 311–327 Handbook of Philosophy and Public Policy, 44 Harari, Yuval Noah, 130 Hare, Robert, 165 Harrett, Clark, 238 Harris, Eric, 169 Harris, Sam, 87, 241, 304 Harvey, William, 229 hate speech question of banning, 28–37 response to, 13–16 Have Gun – Will Travel (television show), 298 Hawass, Zahi, 315 Hawking, Stephen, 111, 124–125 Hayek, Friedrich, 216–217 Heavens on Earth (Shermer), 103, 109, 310 hedonic treadmill, 201, 202, 210 helicopter parenting, 65, 74 Hemenway, David, 186 Hensley, Melody, 73 Herschel, John, 45 heuristics, 23–24 Heyerdahl, Thor, 315 Heying, Heather, 303 hindsight bias, 24 Hitchens, Christopher, 1, 16, 55, 82, 87, 210debate about his beliefs, 276–281 dinner and drinks with, 282–286 on freedom of speech, 3–6 on hate speech, 13 sense of loss following his death, 276 Hitchens’ Dictum, 5–6 Hitchens’ Theorem, 5 Hitler, Adolf, 28, 31 HMS Bounty mutineers society on Pitcairn Island, 156–159 Hobbes, Thomas, 139, 229, 240, 309 Hoffman, Donald, 305–306 Holmes, James, 170 Holmes, Oliver Wendell, Justice, 1, 2–3, 16 Holmes’ Axiom, 3 Holocaust denial, 5, 20–21, 22–23, 38–43as a criminal act, 38–43 Hooker, Joseph, 45, 287 Horowitz, David, 282 Houdini, Harry, 270, 283 how lives turn out free will–determinism debate, 264–265 human nature and, 256–258 Just World Theory, 255 role of contingency, 258–264 role of environment and society, 258–264 role of luck, 258–264 Unjust World Theory, 255–256 views on important influences, 255–258 How We Believe (Shermer), 87 Hubbard, L.
Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte
8-hour work day, affirmative action, Bertrand Russell: In Praise of Idleness, blue-collar work, Burning Man, business cycle, call centre, cognitive dissonance, David Brooks, deliberate practice, desegregation, DevOps, East Village, Edward Glaeser, epigenetics, fear of failure, feminist movement, financial independence, game design, gender pay gap, glass ceiling, helicopter parent, hiring and firing, income inequality, job satisfaction, John Maynard Keynes: Economic Possibilities for our Grandchildren, knowledge economy, knowledge worker, labor-force participation, meta analysis, meta-analysis, new economy, profit maximization, Results Only Work Environment, Richard Feynman, Ronald Reagan, Saturday Night Live, sensible shoes, sexual politics, Silicon Valley, Skype, Steve Jobs, Thorstein Veblen, women in the workforce, working poor, Zipcar, éminence grise
She organized monthly homeschool get-togethers, homeschool proms, homeschool field days, homeschool Christmas pageants. She took her children to mosques when they studied Islam, started classes at 11 a.m. when their teenage brains needed more sleep, and had days when they all stayed in their pajamas and just read. She organized summer camps where kids played in the creek behind her house and when the cicadas swarmed, baked insect cookies with them. “Perhaps I’m guilty of being the worst helicopter parent ever,” she said. “But I don’t think I could have found a way to spend my time in any way that was actually more valuable.” So who’s right? What’s best? More important, how do we stop this “perfect madness”? * * * A group of mothers sits around a long table at a busy café in Portland, Oregon. For more than a year they’ve been coming together, quietly seeking refuge from the cult of intensive mothering all around them, trying to answer those questions.
Current Directions in Psychological Science 14, no. 5 (October 2005): 251–54. 9: THE CULT OF INTENSIVE MOTHERHOOD 1. Bianchi, Robinson, and Milkie, Changing Rhythms, 64–77. 2. José Martinez, “Manhattan Mom Sues $19K/yr. Preschool for Damaging 4-Year-Old Daughter’s Ivy League Chances,” New York Daily News, March 14, 2011, www.nydailynews.com/new-york/manhattan-mom-sues-19k-yr-preschool-damaging-4-year-old-daughter-ivy-league-chances-article-1.117712. 3. Jennifer Ludden, “Helicopter Parents Hover in the Workplace,” All Things Considered, National Public Radio, February 6, 2012, www.npr.org/story/146464665. 4. Annette Laureau, Unequal Childhoods: Class, Race, and Family Life (Berkeley: University of California Press, 2003). 5. Tony Snow, “The Lewinsky Principle,” Jewish World Review, March 8, 1999, www.jewishworldreview.com/tony/snow030899.asp. 6. Susan Chira, A Mother’s Place: Taking the Debate About Working Mothers Beyond Guilt and Blame (New York: Harper, 1998). 7.
Hammer, Leslie Hanley, Caroline Hansen, Orval Happy Endings (TV show) Harding, Hillary Hartman, David Hartman, Heidi Harvard Business Review Harvard Business School Harvard University Haskins, Greg Hawkes, Kirsten Hays, Sharon: The Cultural Contradictions of Motherhood Hazda women Head Start Health and Human Services, Department of health care; costs; ER heart disease heart rate Heckman, James Heidegger, Martin helicopter parenting Henderson, Karla Heritage Foundation Herr, Jane Leber Hewlett, Sylvia Ann Heyck-Merlin, Maia Hicks, Kathleen Hochschild, Arlie: The Second Shift holidays Holt, Luther Emmett Hölzel, Britta homeschooling homework homosexuality hormones; stress hotels; labor Hot Mommas Project housework; breadwinner-homemaker stereotype; Danish; gay couples and; gender equity issues; men and; women and housing prices Hout, Michael Hrdy, Sarah Blaffer; Mother Nature; Mothers and Others Hsee, Christopher Huizinga, Johan Hunnicutt, Ben hunting-and-gathering societies hurricanes Hypertherm hypothalamus Iacocca, Lee IBM Iceland ideal mother ideal worker; breadwinner-homemaker stereotype; dumping the; evidence against; parental leave and; “separate spheres theory”; staying power of; stereotype; stress; wage gap immigrants immune system; effect of stress on Implicit Association Test India industrialization infertility inflammation information; overload Institute for Social Research, Hague integration intensive mothering; ambivalence and; Danish; fear and; guilt and; mommy wars International Association for Time Use Research; Paris conference Internet iPhone Ireland Issa, Darrell Italy Jacobs, Jerry: The Time Divide Japan Javitz, Jacob Jensen, Elisabeth Møller Johansson, Thomas: New Swedish Father Joly, Hubert Judaism Jump Associates Kaibel, Howard Kappaz, George Keefer, Catherine Kelly, Erin Kennedy, Eden: Let’s PANIC About Babies!
The Decadent Society: How We Became the Victims of Our Own Success by Ross Douthat
Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, AI winter, Bernie Sanders, bitcoin, Burning Man, Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, centre right, charter city, crack epidemic, crowdsourcing, David Graeber, Deng Xiaoping, Donald Trump, East Village, Elon Musk, Flynn Effect, Francis Fukuyama: the end of history, Francisco Pizarro, ghettoisation, gig economy, Haight Ashbury, helicopter parent, hive mind, Hyperloop, immigration reform, informal economy, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), Islamic Golden Age, Jeff Bezos, Joan Didion, Kevin Kelly, Kickstarter, knowledge worker, life extension, mass immigration, mass incarceration, means of production, megacity, move fast and break things, move fast and break things, multiplanetary species, New Journalism, Nicholas Carr, Norman Mailer, obamacare, Oculus Rift, open borders, out of africa, Panopticon Jeremy Bentham, Peter Thiel, plutocrats, Plutocrats, pre–internet, QAnon, quantitative easing, rent-seeking, Robert Bork, Robert Gordon, Ronald Reagan, secular stagnation, self-driving car, Silicon Valley, Silicon Valley ideology, Snapchat, social web, Steve Jobs, Steven Pinker, technoutopianism, the built environment, The Rise and Fall of American Growth, Tyler Cowen: Great Stagnation, wage slave, women in the workforce, Y2K
In the era of the teen TV soap Beverly Hills, 90210, which premiered in 1990, 10 percent of adolescents had lost their virginity before age thirteen; only 4 percent enjoyed that dubious distinction in the age of Snapchat. “Today’s teens are better than you, and we can prove it,” ran a 2016 data-journalism headline—and the data, indeed, proved that teenage life in the 2010s was physically safer than at any point in the recent American past. Maybe teenage life is safer today because of helicopter parenting or better policing or successful anti-alcohol education in the schools. But it’s likely that there’s been a general substitution of electronic entertainment and virtual communication for real-life behaviors that led past teenagers into peril and temptation. Whether it’s video games or pornography or just the buzz of online social life, the virtual makes it possible to spend a social (or at least “social”) teenage life much more indoors and at home than in the past, which in turn reduces the risks that come with driving too fast, partying too late, drinking too much, hooking up incautiously, and generally behaving in the ways that traditionally made adolescence dangerous.
The most fully realized version of this regime exists on certain American college campuses, which have groped their way to the pink police state out of a kind of commercial necessity. In the last few decades, our universities have distinguished themselves by promising seemingly incompatible things to their two customer bases: to the parents footing the bill, they promise safety, supervision, and an environment where the precious children of the upper-middle class will be tended with all the care that helicopter parents expect; to the kids actually making the choice, they promise a long Rumspringa—a four-year holiday from both childhood rules and adult responsibilities, in which the debauchery of Animal House or Old School is supposed to be included with tuition. Harmonizing those two promises is the task of the ever-expanding college bureaucracy, whose mission is to protect the health and well-being of its student body without resorting to oppressive moral virtues such as chastity and temperance that might bring the party to a halt.
The New Prophets of Capital by Nicole Aschoff
3D printing, affirmative action, Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, Airbnb, American Legislative Exchange Council, basic income, Bretton Woods, clean water, collective bargaining, commoditize, crony capitalism, feminist movement, follow your passion, Food sovereignty, glass ceiling, global supply chain, global value chain, helicopter parent, hiring and firing, income inequality, Khan Academy, late capitalism, Lyft, Mark Zuckerberg, mass incarceration, means of production, performance metric, post-work, profit motive, rent-seeking, Ronald Reagan, Rosa Parks, school vouchers, shareholder value, sharing economy, Silicon Valley, Slavoj Žižek, structural adjustment programs, Tim Cook: Apple, urban renewal, women in the workforce, working poor, zero-sum game
22 Oprah recognizes the pervasiveness of anxiety and alienation in our society. But instead of examining the economic or political basis of these feelings, she advises us to turn our gaze inward and reconfigure ourselves to become more adaptable to the vagaries and stresses of the neoliberal moment. Not Just for Housewives Oprah’s reach extends beyond the maligned imaginary of housewives who spend their days going to spinning classes, helicopter parenting, writing in their gratitude journals, and popping Lexapro. Sociologist Heather Laine Talley and Monica Casper, head of the Department of Gender and Women’s Studies at the University of Arizona, argue that “all Americans consume Oprah whether they realize it or not.”23 In her Cotton Mather meets Norman Vincent Peale commencement speeches, Oprah exhorts students at Stanford, Duke, Spelman, Howard, and Harvard to follow her example: When you’re doing work you’re meant to do, it feels right and every day is a bonus, regardless of what you’re getting paid … So, I say to you, forget about the fast lane.
Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis by Robert D. Putnam
assortative mating, business cycle, correlation does not imply causation, deindustrialization, demographic transition, desegregation, ending welfare as we know it, epigenetics, full employment, George Akerlof, helicopter parent, impulse control, income inequality, index card, jobless men, longitudinal study, low skilled workers, manufacturing employment, mass incarceration, meta analysis, meta-analysis, mortgage tax deduction, new economy, Occupy movement, Ralph Waldo Emerson, randomized controlled trial, school choice, selection bias, Socratic dialogue, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, the built environment, upwardly mobile, Walter Mischel, white flight, working poor
This means they are increasingly able to supplement (not simply replace) the financial resources that their grandchildren are already getting from their parents. Upper-tier kids are thus more likely than lower-tier kids to get financial assistance from their grandparents, even though they are less likely to need it. In short, taking grandparenting into account magnifies the growing youth class gaps. • • • I close with three cautions. First, in recent years we’ve heard much talk of excessive parenting under labels like “helicopter parents” and “overparenting.”74 No doubt one can find occasional illustrations of that phenomenon, which irritates both the kids and bystanders. It is misleading, however, to assume a false equivalency between excessive and inadequate parenting. There is no credible evidence that excessive parenting produces anything approaching the abundant ills associated with inadequate parenting. Moreover, if there is a problem of excessive parenting, the solution lies in the hands of parents themselves, but that is much less true of the problem of inadequate parenting.
Bill, 160–61 gifted-and-talented programs, 143, 153 Gilded Age, 41, 191 global warming, 228 Golden, Claudia, 34 Goodnight Moon time, 126–27, 242 government policies: on child development, 248–51 on family structure, 244–48 on parenting, 248–51 on schooling, 251–58 grandparents: financial assistance from, 6, 133 as replacement parents, 102, 132–34, 149–52 Great Depression, 34, 74, 191 Great Migration, 13 Great Recession, 22, 35, 130, 148, 223 grit, 4, 111, 176, 241 H hand-me-downs, 9–11 Hardy Boys, The (mystery series), 87 Hargittai, Eszter, 211–12 Harlem Children’s Zone (HCZ), 254 Head Start, 153, 249–50 helicopter parents, 133 high school: drop outs and, 26, 56 educational attainment and, 183–84 equivalency tests (GEDs), 93, 157, 183 graduation rates and, 137 see also Santa Ana High School; Troy High School High School movement, 160, 183, 260 Holzer, Harry, 231 Hooked on Phonics, 85, 118 housing: affordable, 251–52 crowded, 136 mixed-income, 251–52 school choice and, 164 vouchers for, 60, 247 Hout, Michael, 36 hug/spank ratio, 121 I immigrants: European, 192 Latino, 47, 84, 135 traditional marriage and, 72 unaccompanied children as, 261 upward mobility and, 141 imprisonment, parental, 76–77, 77 child poverty and, 26–27, 152 policy changes and, 247–48 incarceration policy, 76, 247–48 income: academic achievement and, 162, 165 distribution of, 22, 23, 31–32 Earned Income Tax Credit and, 247 equality, 31–34 mixed-income housing and, 251–52 social mobility and, 43–44 trends in, 35–36 income inequality, 37 in 21st century, 35, 43 low- vs. high-income schools and, 137, 138, 163, 166 Occupy movement and, 31 opportunity gap and, 227–28 poor old-timers vs. rich newcomers, 47, 251 residential segregation and, 38–39, 38 individualism, 206, 261 informal mentoring, 213 intensive parenting, 128 intergenerational mobility, 31, 82, 233 Internet: fund-raising and, 205 political uses of, 236 social networks and, 211–12, 269 Invisible Man (Ellison), 18 Isabella, 137, 139, 141–48, 160, 161, 165, 169, 182, 225 Ivy League schools: competitive pressure and, 139, 145, 147 educational attainment and, 139, 142, 198 graduation from, 148, 193 J James Joyce (Ellmann), 1 Jesse, 2, 12–16, 18–19, 30, 274 Jim Crow South, 13, 81 Job Corps training programs, 59 Joe, 54–56, 58–60, 64, 68, 73, 79, 118, 167 John, 203–204 “John Henry effect,” 113 Junior Women’s Club, 8 K Katz, Lawrence, 34, 160, 231 Kayla, 49, 54–61, 64–65, 67–68, 78, 115, 118, 125, 128, 185, 188, 216, 221, 234, 240, 256 Kefalas, Maria, 73–74 Kensington, 192–193, 198–205, 213, 216–221 Kenworthy, Lane, 246 King, Martin Luther, Jr., 241 Kirk, David, 170 Knott’s Berry Farm, 141, 162 Kornhauser, William, 239–40 L Laguna Beach, Calif., 136 Lake Erie, 3, 21 Land-Grant College movement, 160–61 language: as barrier to education, 155, 159 social class and, 29, 116 Lareau, Annette, 118 Latinos, 39, 47, 101, 267 affluent, 139–48, 158–60 in gangs, 140, 149, 152 in Orange County, Calif., 131, 135–37, 140–41, 144, 158–59, 175 poverty of, 148–58 traditional marriages and, 72, 84 see also specific individuals Lauren, 83, 92–100, 123, 185, 188, 216, 256 learning disabilities, 111, 163 Libby, 2, 9–12, 18–19, 30, 274 library cards, 97 licking and grooming, 115 life stories, research for, 263–77 see also specific accounts of individuals LinkedIn, 211 Lisa, 198–206, 216, 225, 234, 256, 257 logging industry, 46 Lola, 132, 137, 148–57, 161, 171–72, 175, 178, 182, 184, 188, 216, 234, 240, 256, 267, 269 Los Angeles, Calif., 135, 139 Lower Merion, 192–98, 205, 206, 217, 221 M McGuffey’s Reader, 33 McLanahan, Sara, 63, 65, 68, 69–70, 71 Madeline, 193–96 manners, 10, 151 March on Washington, 241 Marines, U.S., 157 Marnie, 193–98, 205, 209, 211, 229, 264, 269 marriage: class gap and, 40–41 cohabitation vs., 67–68 government policies and, 244 shotgun, 62 traditional, 7, 12, 62, 72 marriage trap, 56 Mary Sue, 221, 268 Massey, Douglas, 34, 44–45, 252 mass movements, 240 medical insurance, 201 mentors, mentoring: Big Brothers Big Sisters, 213 church leaders as, 4, 197 class gap and, 213–16, 215 formal vs. informal, 213 parents as, 98, 197 as solution to class gap, 259 sports coaches as, 14 teachers as, 141, 196 methods appendix: qualitative research, 263–74 quantitative research, 268–69 Michelle, 83, 92–100, 125, 128, 185, 188, 216, 234, 256, 267, 270 mining industry, 13, 16, 20 Mississippi, 13, 14 mobility: absolute vs. relative, 41–42 intergenerational, 31, 82–83 methods of assessing, 43–44 PCHS class of ’59 and, 4, 7 social, 31–34, 43–44 trends in, 228–29 see also upward mobility Molly, 198–206, 217, 218, 224, 233 Mommy and Me classes, 86 money: “old money” gentry and, 25 parental spending and, 125–26 politics and, 238–39 mothers: age at child’s birth and, 64, 65 employment of, 71, 71 marital status and, 66–68, 66 stay-at-home, 71 Mount Laurel, 251–52 Moving to Opportunity, 223 Moynihan, Daniel Patrick, 62 multi-partner fertility, 68–71, 78 Mullainathan, Sendhil, 130 Murnane, Richard, 250 My Brother’s Keeper, 213 “My City Was Gone” (song), 1 N natural growth, 118 neglect: educational, 155 parental, 26, 104, 111–12 Negro Family, The (Moynihan), 62 neighborhoods: affluence vs. poverty and, 217–23, 219 childhood obesity and, 222–23, 222 class segregation and, 38–39, 38 crime in, 102–3, 199–200 Moving to Opportunity and, 223 regeneration of, 259–60 safety and, 97, 140 social trust and, 219–21, 219 neighborhood development, 251, 259–60 Nelson, Timothy J., 68 New Deal, 34 New Hope Program, 260 New Orleans, La., 102–4 New York, N.Y., 81, 84, 254 1950s: affluence in, 5–6 class disparities in, 6–9 economic mobility during, 9–12 family structure and, 62–63 parental involvement in schools during, 156 Port Clinton during, 1–19, 29–30 race in and, 12–19 social norms of, 12 working class in, 3–4 Nixon, Richard, 135 noncognitive skills, 111, 176 O obesity, childhood, 222–23, 222 Occupy movement, 31 Okun, Arthur, 230–31, 234 opportunity, equality: as American Dream, 41–44 child development for, 248–58 class gap and, 31–34 Declaration of Independence and, 241 through democracy, 230, 234–41 diminishing the gap of, 260–61 through economic growth, 230–34 education and, 32, 44–45, 137, 161, 258 fairness in, 22, 241–42, 264 income distribution and, 31–32 mobility and, 31–34, 41–44 moral obligation to, 240–42 social mobility and, 41–44 statistical evidence and, 42–43 opportunity gap, 227–61 child development and, 248–51 community and, 258–60 community colleges and, 257–58 democracy and, 234–40 economic growth and, 230–34 family structure and, 244–48 income equality and, 227–28 moral obligation and, 240–42 opportunity costs and, 230 opportunity youth and, 232, 232 schools and, 251–58 solutions to, 242–44, 260–61 Orange County, Calif.: affluence in, 135, 139–143, 264–265, 270–71 demographic changes in, 135–36 Latinos in, 135–37, 139–43, 148–52, 158–59 life stories of, see Clara; Isabella; Lola; Ricardo; Sofia Santa Ana schools in, 137, 138, 153–57 Troy High School in, 137, 138, 143–48 working-class communities, 265 Orfield, Gary, 165 Origins of Totalitarianism (Arendt), 240 out-out-wedlock births, see nonmarital pregnancies Ozzie-and-Harriet families, 61, 63 P para-school funding, see fund-raising parental leave, 248 parenting, 80–134 age of mother and, 64, 65 child development and, 109–17 class gap and, 119–22, 120, 133–34 day care and, 128–30, 248–49 education of parents and, 119, 249 family dinners and, 24, 122–24, 124 government policies on, 248–51 grandparents and, 132–34 imprisonment and, 26–27, 76–77, 77, 152, 247–48 investments in children, 24, 29, 51, 86–88, 92, 123–24, 127, 143, 145, 159, 166–67, 195 nonmarital births and, 66–68, 66 permissive, 117 planned vs. unplanned births and, 64–65 school involvement and, 24, 86, 156, 167 solutions for problems in, 248–51 spending and, 125–26, 126 stress and, 130–32 time and, 26, 59, 88, 126–28, 127 verbal, 120 parenting trends, 117–34 parent-teacher association (PTA), 88, 167 parochial schools, 84, 254–55 Patty, 50–52, 92, 128, 229 pay-to-play policies, 180–81, 258 peer pressure, 160–73 People of Plenty (Potter), 33 Percheski, Christine, 69–70 permissive parenting, 117 Philadelphia, Pa.: community disparity in, 191–206 life stories of, see Amy; Eleanor; Lisa, Madeline; Marnie; Molly Philadelphia Story, The (film), 191 Philadelphia Youth Orchestra, 204 piano lessons, 86, 139, 178, 194 pluralism, 136 Police Athletic League (PAL), 199–200 politics: class gap and, 237–40 class savvy and, 11, 140 Politics of Mass Society, The (Kornhauser), 240 Port Clinton, Ohio, 1–45 in 1950s, 1–9, 29–30, 270; see also Port Clinton High School (PCHS) in 21st century, 2, 19–30, 270 affluence in, 5–6, 24–26 class gap and, 2, 6–9, 19–30, 270 factory closings in, 20 life stories of, see Cheryl; Chelsea; David; Don; Frank; Jesse; Libby opportunity gap in, 29 poverty in, 22, 23, 26–29 race in, 12–19 Port Clinton High School (PCHS), 3–6, 9–19 class of 1959, 3 Potter, David, 33 poverty: antipoverty programs and, 246–47 in Bend, Oreg., 47–48, 48 child development and, 116 costs of, 231–32 family instability and, 74 in Kensington, 198–206 in neighborhoods, 217–19, 219 in New Orleans, La., 102–3 in Port Clinton, Ohio, 22, 23 in Santa Ana, Calif., 136–38, 138, 170 schools and, 169–71, 171 pregnancy: marital, 203, 205 nonmarital, 61–62, 66–72, 66, 75, 78, 162, 204, 243, 245 teen, 2, 70, 196, 203–5, 245–46 trends in, 64–66, 73–75 premarital sex: family structure and, 62 teens and, 196, 203–5 Pretenders, The (band), 1 prison, see imprisonment, parental private schools, 52, 173, 194 Progressive Era, 244, 253, 256 property taxes, 165 prostitution, 152 public education system: Common School movement and, 160 equal opportunity and, 32 High School movement and, 160 Land-Grant College movement and, 160–61 see also class gap, education and public policy, 75–76 Q qualitative research, 263–74 constraints of, 272–84 life stories as, 263 model for, 265–66 participants and, 265–67 sample and, 270–71 Sandelson and, 265 Silva and, 270–71, 269–71 topics of, 267–68 quantitative research, 274–77 data sets and, 277 life stories as, 274 PCHS class of ’59 survey, 274–75 statistics of, 276–77 survey results, 276 R race: in 1950s, 12–19 in 21st century, 18, 91 affluence and, 84–92 class gap and, 76, 161–62 college scholarships and, 14, 17 in discrimination and segregation, 81–83 socializing and, 16–18 racism, 18–19 reading, 87, 143, 249 real estate: good schools and, 164 in Port Clinton, Ohio, 22 property taxes and, 165 white flight and, 81 Reardon, Sean, 161–62, 280 “rearview mirror” method, 44 relative mobility, 41–42 religion: child development and, 89–90 church attendance and, 224–25, 225 communities and, 197, 201–4, 223–26 see also churches research: field, 264 financial support and, 266 leadership of, 266 undergraduate, 265 see also qualitative research; quantitative research residential segregation: affordable housing and, 251–52 income and, 38–39, 38 schools and, 163–64, 251–52 residential sorting, 163 Ricardo, 137, 139, 141, 143, 146, 148, 165, 229 Riis, Jacob, 41 Rocky (film), 191–92 Rotary Club, 8 row houses, 192 Rust Belt, 30, 73, 264 S Sampson, Robert, 170, 217–18 San Diego, Calif., 135 Santa Ana, Calif.: as America’s most troubled city, 136 gangs in, 136, 170 poverty in, 136–37, 138, 170 Santa Ana High School, 59, 136–38, 148, 153–58, 163–64, 166–67, 169–70 characteristics of, 136 SATs (scholastic aptitude tests): as academic measure, 137, 142, 246 competitive pressure and, 139 preparation for, 144, 147, 197, 206 savvy gap, 213–16 Sawhill, Isabel, 79, 229, 245 Scarcity (Mullainathan and Shafir), 130 scholarships, 8 for black students, 14, 17 for Latino students, 141 school choice, 97, 164–65 school climate, 97, 153–54, 171–73 schools, schooling, 135–90 AP classes and, 39, 143, 168, 168, 173 Catholic, 84, 201, 254–55 class divergence and, 160 class gap and, 137, 138, 160–73 discipline problems in, 171 drugs and violence in, 153–54, 170 educational attainment and, 183–90, 189, 190 extracurricular activities and, 174–83, 177 finances of, 165–66 fund-raising and, 137, 147, 167 government policies and, 251–58 inequality in, 137, 138 Latino communities and, 158–60 opportunity gap and, 251–58 peer influence in, 11, 160-73, 197, 214, 236 poverty in, 169–70, 171 private schools and, 52, 173, 194 public education system and, 160–61 residential segregation and, 163–64, 251–52 solutions for problems in, 251–58 tracking and, 143, 173 see also education; specific schools Science Olympiad, 144 Schlozman, Kay, 236 Scott, Helen Hope Montgomery, 191 seat belts, sociological, 224 SeaWorld, 151 Section 8 housing assistance, 60 security, emotional, 53, 115 segregation, residential, 38–39, 38, 163–64, 251–52 “Self-Reliance” (Emerson), 261 serve-and-return interactions, 110, 123, 126 sexual norms, 73 Shafir, Eldar, 130 Shonkoff, Jack, 109–12 shotgun marriages, 62 Silva, Jennifer: field research and, 264 research methods appendix and, 263–74 Simone, 83, 84–92, 101, 110, 117–19, 122, 128, 143, 164, 166, 174, 206 single-parent families: changing family structure and, 69–71, 70, 92–101 in 1970s, 21, 62 nonmarital births and, 66–68, 66 parental imprisonment and, 76 social class: education and, 44–45 language and, 29, 116 parenting style and, 119–22, 120 see also class gap social isolation, 16–17, 28, 211 social mobility, 31–34, 43–44 social networks: affluence and, 209–10, 209 churches as, 4, 10, 89–90, 201, 206 class gap and, 207–10, 208 communities and, 207–13 Internet and, 211–12, 269 social safety net, and communities, 132, 206, 229, 246–47, 254, 258–59, 261, 264, 265 social trust, 95, 201, 219–20 socioeconomic status (SES), 189–90 Sofia, 132, 137, 148–58, 160–61, 165, 168, 171, 172, 175, 178, 182, 185, 188, 216, 234, 256, 269 soft skills, 174–76 spending, parental, 125–26, 126 Spock, Benjamin, 117 sports: class gap and, 178, 179 as equalizer, 4, 97 pay-to-play policies and, 180–81, 258 Title IX and, 175 Stephanie, 83, 92–101, 110–11, 114, 117, 120–21, 123, 128, 163, 167, 263, 267 step-parents, 63, 93 step-siblings, 57, 63 stress: competitive, 144–45 financial, 130–31, 131 parental, 130–32 toxic, 111–14 suburbs, 261, 265 summer learning gap, 86–87, 143, 162 Sun Belt, 80 Supporting Healthy Marriage program, 244 T teachers: Talent Transfer Initiative and, 253 teacher flight and, 253 teacher quality and, 137 teacher salaries and, 165–66 team sports, see sports technology, 143, 212, 257, 265 see also computers; Internet teen pregnancy, 203–5, 245–46 television, 3, 57, 89, 91, 93, 117, 119, 123, 128, 162 test scores: K-12 education and, 161–62 see also SATs Tiger Moms, 145, 159 time, child-parent relationships and, 126–28, 127 Tolstoy, Leo, 61 tough love, 88, 96, 100–101, 120, 195 toxic stress, 111–14 tracking, 143, 173 traditional families, 61–62 traditional marriage, 7, 12, 62, 72 trailer parks, 22, 57 travel, 53 Troy High School, 137, 142, 143–48, 163, 165 characteristics of, 138 competitive pressure at, 139, 144–45 curriculum of, 143–44, 213 extracurricular activities in, 145–47 fund-raising and, 147 Newsweek ranking of, 143 Tiger Moms and, 145 trust: building of, 270 social, 95, 201, 219–21 trust funds, 6 U unemployment, 20, 136 United Auto Workers (UAW), 8 upward mobility: gender and, 11 parental spending and, 125 PCHS class of ’59 and, 4, 7 race and, 18 2nd generation immigrants and, 141 trends in, 228–29 V values, 75, 240 Verba, Sidney, 236 verbal parenting, 120 veterans, 160–61 violence: in New Orleans, La., 102–3 in Santa Ana, Calif., 136 in schools, 153–54, 170 in South, 13 vocabulary gap, 92 vocational education, 255–56 volunteer work, 157, 259 voting, 235–37, 235 W Waldfogel, Jane, 122, 248 Waltham, Mass., 270, 272 War on Drugs, 76 Washbrook, Elizabeth, 122 weak ties, 198, 208–10, 208, 209 wealth gap, 31, 37 welfare system: costs of, 232 family structure and, 75 medical insurance and, 202 reforms of, 244 Wendy, 24–25, 29, 92, 143, 266 Weston, Mass., 270 white flight, 81 Y youth: church programs for, 202–4 Facebook and, 205, 269 recreation, 199 voting and, 235–37, 235 YouthBuild network, 256 Simon & Schuster 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 www.SimonandSchuster.com Copyright © 2015 by Robert D.
Dream Hoarders: How the American Upper Middle Class Is Leaving Everyone Else in the Dust, Why That Is a Problem, and What to Do About It by Richard V. Reeves
affirmative action, Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, assortative mating, Bernie Sanders, Branko Milanovic, Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, circulation of elites, cognitive dissonance, desegregation, Donald Trump, Downton Abbey, full employment, ghettoisation, glass ceiling, helicopter parent, Home mortgage interest deduction, housing crisis, income inequality, knowledge economy, land value tax, longitudinal study, mortgage tax deduction, obamacare, Occupy movement, plutocrats, Plutocrats, positional goods, race to the bottom, randomized controlled trial, unpaid internship, upwardly mobile, War on Poverty, We are the 99%, working-age population, zero-sum game
But Locke’s insistence that good societies need good citizens, created by good parents, holds to this day: “The well Educating of their Children is so much the Duty and Concern of Parents, and the Welfare and Prosperity of the Nation so much depends on it.” This Duty and Concern is one that us upper middle-class parents take very seriously. Having (usually) planned and timed our child-rearing years, we engage proactively with the process of raising and developing our children. We are the social class that first turned the noun into a verb. We are not just parents; we parent. It is easy to parody overzealous affluent “helicopter” parents shuttling our children from after-school tennis practice to cello lessons to a Chinese tutor. But the truth is that we are doing a lot of things right. High-income parents talk with their school-aged children for three hours more per week than low-income parents, according to research by Meredith Phillips of UCLA.12 This investment goes well beyond numeracy and literacy. The skills required to ensure upper middle-class status are not just ‘book smarts’ but also social skills, self-regulation, and a wide cultural vocabulary.
Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization by Scott Barry Kaufman
Albert Einstein, David Brooks, desegregation, Donald Trump, fear of failure, happiness index / gross national happiness, hedonic treadmill, helicopter parent, impulse control, job satisfaction, longitudinal study, Menlo Park, meta analysis, meta-analysis, Nelson Mandela, phenotype, Ralph Waldo Emerson, randomized controlled trial, Rosa Parks, science of happiness, Silicon Valley, Snapchat, social intelligence, Steven Pinker, theory of mind
However, they are also scared and find the unknown intensely frightening. Young children test the waters and look to their parents or others in their environment to know whether it’s safe to explore. A child who feels too safe will become bored and seek to move on to “higher” exploratory delights. Too much safety holds kids back from real opportunities for learning and growth. As a response to “helicopter parenting”—overly protective and intrusive parenting—Lenore Skenazy founded the Free-Range Kids movement, in which parents are encouraged to raise children to function independently with reasonable acceptance of the risks. Along with Daniel Shuchman, Peter Gray, and Jonathan Haidt, Skenazy also founded the nonprofit Let Grow, whose mission is to counter the “culture of overprotection” with the aim of future-proofing our kids and our country.5 Exploration is not just for kids, and it is unfortunate that the spirit of exploration and play often wanes in adulthood.
“evil,” 240–41 gossip, 43, 96–97 “gradient of autonomy,” 165 grandiose narcissism, 64, 71–76, 77, 78, 80, 122 Grant, Adam, 33, 166 Graves, Clare, 226 greed, 4, 131, 244 Greenberg, Jeff, 59 Griffiths, Roland, 209 grit and equanimity, 89, 171, 172–75, 178, 183 Grogan, Jessica, 185 Gross National Happiness, 237 group cohesion, 39–40, 44 growth, xviii, xix, xx, xxi, xxiv, xxv, xxvi, xxvii, xxviii, xxx–xxxi, xxxii, xxxiii–xxxiv, xxxv, xxxix, 29, 69–71, 72, 81, 81–185, 238 growth challenges, 279–309 growth-driven life motivations, 79, 80 growth-mindedness, 135 growth purchases vs. material purchases, 49–50 Haidt, Jonathan, 92, 201, 204, 206 “hangry” (from “hungry” and “angry”), 12 happiness, xx, xxi, xxv, xxvi, xxxiv, xxxvii growth, 84, 93, 100, 131, 132, 146–47, 153–54, 155–56, 170 healthy transcendence, 197, 208, 213, 214, 219, 223, 229, 237 security, 11, 26, 41, 43, 48–50, 51, 70, 79 Harari, Yuval, 213 Harlow, Harry, 35, 36, 54, 55 harmonious passion, 145, 171, 175–76 Hatt, Beth, 32 Hayes, Steven, 70 “health-fostering” victory, 215 health insurance, Americans’, 7 “healthy childishness,” 225 healthy transcendence, xxxi, 187–244 See also transcendence Heaphy, Emily, 42 heart disease and loneliness, 45 Heavy Head, Martin, 4 “hedonic treadmill,” 49 hedonism, 100, 229–30 Heitzman, A. Lynn, 240, 241, 243 “helicopter parenting,” 92 Herman Miller, 158 Herzog, Werner, 154 hierarchy of needs, xiii, xiv, xvi, xvii, xxi, xxiii–xxxix, xxxv, 7, 44, 148, 163, 167, 175, 185, 191, 219 “higher needs,” xv, xxviii high-quality connections, 42–45, 52 hippocampus, 25, 26–27 Hirsh, Jacob, 10 Hitler, Adolf, 167, 168 Hoffman, Edward, 150, 194 holistic perceiving, 222 Honnold, Alex (“No Big Deal”), 97–98, 99, 101 hope, 28, 30–34, 126, 129, 171, 177–78, 179, 228, 229, 237 Hope Scale, 178 Horney, Karen, xviii, xxiv, 83, 136 horticulturists (teachers, therapists, parents), xxiii hubristic pride, 79 human existence.
The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own by Joshua Becker
Due to our individualistic pursuits and distrust of institutions, our generation will average seven career changes during our lifetimes, something unimagined by our grandparents. But kids have a way of changing people. And Generation Xers, now in middle age, are parenting children of all ages. Most Gen Xers are responding to the parental examples they grew up with by embracing the opposite paradigm: “latchkey kids” have become “helicopter parents.” And with Baby Boomer grandparents who are used to showing love by buying gifts, Gen X homes are quickly becoming overrun with clutter. If you are a Gen Xer, your days of peak earning may be immediately in front of you. The “advantages” that consumerism is holding out to you may seem more within your reach than ever before. Don’t be fooled. You know how overaccumulation has already begun to affect you for the worse.
The Gig Economy: The Complete Guide to Getting Better Work, Taking More Time Off, and Financing the Life You Want by Diane Mulcahy
Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, Airbnb, Amazon Mechanical Turk, basic income, Clayton Christensen, cognitive bias, collective bargaining, creative destruction, David Brooks, deliberate practice, diversification, diversified portfolio, fear of failure, financial independence, future of work, gig economy, helicopter parent, Home mortgage interest deduction, housing crisis, job satisfaction, Kickstarter, loss aversion, low skilled workers, Lyft, mass immigration, mental accounting, minimum wage unemployment, mortgage tax deduction, negative equity, passive income, Paul Graham, remote working, risk tolerance, Robert Shiller, Robert Shiller, Silicon Valley, Snapchat, TaskRabbit, Uber and Lyft, uber lyft, universal basic income, wage slave, Y Combinator, Zipcar
It easily replaces his old income as a captain, and he says his hours are infinitely better. In the summer and other off-season times, he works about three and a half days a week. (During tax season, he puts in between sixty and seventy hours a week for about ten weeks.) His office is a mile away from his house, and Joe says he’s never missed a concert, Little League game, or school event. “We’re the helicopter parents,” he jokes—and he wouldn’t want it any other way. Tara Gentile’s story also starts with family. In 2008, she was working at Borders, earning $28,000 a year and working long hours. She had a six-month-old daughter at home, and was desperate to spend more time with her. She started looking into potential career alternatives, and settled on ramping up her online presence and starting a coaching business, focused on creative entrepreneurs.
The Five-Year Party: How Colleges Have Given Up on Educating Your Child and What You Can Do About It by Craig Brandon
Party school administrators, more than anyone else, are aware of all this immature student behavior, so why don’t they invite parents to help? Although they use the privacy laws as an excuse, the real reason is that party school administrators think of parents as troublemakers who should simply pay the bills and stay out of the way. If parents were more involved in their children’s lives in college, it would create lots of problems for administrators, who often speak of them derogatorily as “helicopter parents,” reluctant to let their children go. Parents would likely question the wisdom of inflating grades, dumbing down classes, moving back the class drop date, and reducing the number of classes required for graduation. Parents would insist the college protect their children from the hazards of campus life, out-of-control binge drinking, and the lax enforcement of rape laws. When parents call the college to talk with a teacher or a counselor, they are turned away with the same dismissive explanation that Jay Wren received.
Shadow Work: The Unpaid, Unseen Jobs That Fill Your Day by Craig Lambert
airline deregulation, Asperger Syndrome, banking crisis, Barry Marshall: ulcers, big-box store, business cycle, carbon footprint, cashless society, Clayton Christensen, cognitive dissonance, collective bargaining, Community Supported Agriculture, corporate governance, crowdsourcing, disintermediation, disruptive innovation, financial independence, Galaxy Zoo, ghettoisation, gig economy, global village, helicopter parent, IKEA effect, industrial robot, informal economy, Jeff Bezos, job automation, John Maynard Keynes: Economic Possibilities for our Grandchildren, Mark Zuckerberg, new economy, pattern recognition, plutocrats, Plutocrats, recommendation engine, Schrödinger's Cat, Silicon Valley, single-payer health, statistical model, Thorstein Veblen, Turing test, unpaid internship, Vanguard fund, Vilfredo Pareto, zero-sum game, Zipcar
(Many homeschoolers also reject the secular public education that the U.S. Constitution requires and choose to instill their preferred religious precepts at home.) Secondly, social norms have evolved to sanction, even encourage, increased parental involvement in children’s lives. To be sure, parental overinvolvement in schooling crops up mostly among the privileged. Upper-middle-class mothers and fathers were the first “helicopter parents” to hover ceaselessly over all their offspring’s activities. The even more aggressive “snowplow parents,” who are determined to plow a clear path before their kids, have now joined them. A new trend has parents of boarding-school students moving to towns near the prep schools to hover close to their offspring, who are living in dorms. “As the students get to be juniors, we hear more people saying, ‘I have to be there as a support system as they are getting through that college push,’” Elyse Harney Morris, a Realtor in Salisbury, Connecticut, told The New York Times.
Financial Fiasco: How America's Infatuation With Homeownership and Easy Money Created the Economic Crisis by Johan Norberg
accounting loophole / creative accounting, bank run, banking crisis, Bernie Madoff, Black Swan, business cycle, capital controls, central bank independence, collateralized debt obligation, creative destruction, credit crunch, Credit Default Swap, credit default swaps / collateralized debt obligations, David Brooks, diversification, financial deregulation, financial innovation, helicopter parent, Home mortgage interest deduction, housing crisis, Howard Zinn, Hyman Minsky, Isaac Newton, Joseph Schumpeter, Long Term Capital Management, market bubble, Martin Wolf, Mexican peso crisis / tequila crisis, millennium bug, money market fund, moral hazard, mortgage tax deduction, Naomi Klein, new economy, Northern Rock, Own Your Own Home, price stability, Ronald Reagan, savings glut, short selling, Silicon Valley, South Sea Bubble, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, too big to fail
If there were such casinos, I am convinced that we would all be gambling much more, and much more wildly, than we do today. But that is how things are in our financial markets, especially now that government support and deposit insurance have become more extensive than ever before. The problem is that we do not have a casino economy. To borrow a metaphor from child rearing, we have a helicopter economy. Helicopter parents constantly hover over their kids, preventing them from falling and hurting themselves. This means that their children never grow up and learn to see dangers for themselves. And for this very reason, such children will eventually fall in more serious and dangerous contexts instead, because risk is part of the human condition. The helicopter economy works in a similar way. The government hovers over banks and investors, making sure they do not get hurt too badly (and cleaning up any messes they leave behind).
The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease by Marc Lewis Phd
The psychiatrists who continue refining the map of mental disorders may be almost as confused as their patients. Or, to put it more kindly, psychiatrists are becoming aware that addictive issues are defined by behavioural patterns, not particular substances. That’s a step in the right direction. People pursue certain activities repeatedly, often with little control, because those activities are highly attractive. That description can cover anything from spending sprees to helicopter parenting to jihadism, and so on and so on. But there is one very normal human endeavour that most of us recognize as the epitome of blind desire and recurrent pursuit: falling in love. Lovers think obsessively about their love object, exaggerate his or her positive qualities, and avoid thinking about future repercussions. Romantic love (but also parent-child love, and even perverse forms of love including fetishism, sadomasochism, etc.) can easily become compulsive, difficult to control, and overly focused on the immediate, with little regard for the long-range forecast.
The Bend of the World: A Novel by Jacob Bacharach
These kids, he said—he often referred to these kids, as if he and I were the same age looking down on the twenty-somethings coming up after us, and in this particular case I was pretty sure that the Other Peter was actually a few years older than me—these kids have no respect. You know, they’ve all been told they’re special. Trophies for everything. Everyone gets a prize. And they just expect everything to be handed to them without having to work for it. Helicopter parents, I said, because the best way to converse with Ted was to pull a current, topical phrase out of the air and toss it into the air whenever he paused. Exactly, he said. My dad, boy. You didn’t get any of that from him. You have to pay your dues, I said. Of course, on the other side, there’s the gray ceiling. These guys have been here forever, and they’re never going to change. They don’t want the new ideas.
The Inner Lives of Markets: How People Shape Them—And They Shape Us by Tim Sullivan
"Robert Solow", Airbnb, airport security, Al Roth, Alvin Roth, Andrei Shleifer, attribution theory, autonomous vehicles, barriers to entry, Brownian motion, business cycle, buy and hold, centralized clearinghouse, Chuck Templeton: OpenTable:, clean water, conceptual framework, constrained optimization, continuous double auction, creative destruction, deferred acceptance, Donald Trump, Edward Glaeser, experimental subject, first-price auction, framing effect, frictionless, fundamental attribution error, George Akerlof, Goldman Sachs: Vampire Squid, Gunnar Myrdal, helicopter parent, information asymmetry, Internet of things, invisible hand, Isaac Newton, iterative process, Jean Tirole, Jeff Bezos, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, John Nash: game theory, John von Neumann, Joseph Schumpeter, Kenneth Arrow, late fees, linear programming, Lyft, market clearing, market design, market friction, medical residency, multi-sided market, mutually assured destruction, Nash equilibrium, Occupy movement, Pareto efficiency, Paul Samuelson, Peter Thiel, pets.com, pez dispenser, pre–internet, price mechanism, price stability, prisoner's dilemma, profit motive, proxy bid, RAND corporation, ride hailing / ride sharing, Robert Shiller, Robert Shiller, Ronald Coase, school choice, school vouchers, sealed-bid auction, second-price auction, second-price sealed-bid, sharing economy, Silicon Valley, spectrum auction, Steve Jobs, Tacoma Narrows Bridge, technoutopianism, telemarketer, The Market for Lemons, The Wisdom of Crowds, Thomas Malthus, Thorstein Veblen, trade route, transaction costs, two-sided market, uber lyft, uranium enrichment, Vickrey auction, Vilfredo Pareto, winner-take-all economy
The process of calling references and conducting in-person interviews to gather soft information about whether you really trust this person remains largely unchanged from when we were first hiring sitters a dozen years ago. Their imperfections notwithstanding, the advent of babysitter platforms is bad news for brick-and-mortar nanny placement services, whose businesses are surely suffering. But we’re still skeptical that any intermediary, however diligent, will overcome the anxieties of the modern helicopter parent. We doubt that day will ever arrive. Asymmetric information is dead? Long live asymmetric information. The Network Externalities of Ladies’ Night The calculation of how to set prices is a lot more complicated on platforms than in one-sided markets because they are defined by what economists call network externalities, where one person’s purchase makes the item more valuable for other would-be consumers.15 Obviously, this isn’t the case for groceries: the happiness I get from a box of Oreos isn’t affected by whether you prefer to spend your money on Oreos or chocolate-chip cookies or kale.
Palaces for the People: How Social Infrastructure Can Help Fight Inequality, Polarization, and the Decline of Civic Life by Eric Klinenberg
2013 Report for America's Infrastructure - American Society of Civil Engineers - 19 March 2013, American Society of Civil Engineers: Report Card, assortative mating, basic income, big-box store, Broken windows theory, carbon footprint, Cass Sunstein, clean water, deindustrialization, desegregation, Donald Trump, East Village, Filter Bubble, ghettoisation, helicopter parent, income inequality, informal economy, invisible hand, Jane Jacobs, John Snow's cholera map, late fees, Mark Zuckerberg, mass incarceration, Menlo Park, New Urbanism, Peter Thiel, Ray Oldenburg, Richard Florida, Ronald Reagan, Rosa Parks, shareholder value, Silicon Valley, smart grid, the built environment, The Death and Life of Great American Cities, The Great Good Place, the High Line, universal basic income, urban planning, young professional
It requires recognizing that communications technologies work best, and fulfill us most, when they direct us to physical places that everyone can access. Consider, for instance, the social group that’s most often accused of shunning face-to-face interactions in favor of electronic communication: teenagers. According to research by danah boyd, director of the research institute Data & Society, young people spend so much of their social time online because adults—from helicopter parents to hypervigilant school administrators and security guards—give them few other options. Despite higher crime rates, teens in previous generations had more freedom to roam around their neighborhoods and local public spaces than today’s youths. They had more unstructured time after school and on weekends; they even had more free time during school, and far less surveillance. “Increasing regulation means that there aren’t as many public spaces for teens to gather,” boyd writes.
Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything by Lydia Kang, Nate Pedersen
Albert Einstein, complexity theory, germ theory of disease, helicopter parent, Honoré de Balzac, Ignaz Semmelweis: hand washing, Louis Pasteur, placebo effect, stem cell, the scientific method, traveling salesman, Upton Sinclair, wikimedia commons, Y2K
Still, calomel continued to be used. It wasn’t until the mid-twentieth century that mercury compounds finally fell out of favor, thanks to a solid understanding that heavy metal toxicity was actually, you know, bad. Quicksilver: A Beastly Beauty Most people know of elemental mercury as that slippery, silvery liquid once used with ubiquity in glass thermometers. If you were a child before helicopter parenting or organic anything, you might have had the opportunity to play with the contents of a broken thermometer. The glimmering balls skittered everywhere and delighted children for hours. There was always something mystical about “quicksilver,” as it was often called. Its older Latin name, hydrargyrum, spoke to its astonishing uniqueness—“water silver”—and gave rise to its Hg abbreviation on the periodic table of elements.
Testosterone Rex: Myths of Sex, Science, and Society by Cordelia Fine
assortative mating, Cass Sunstein, credit crunch, Donald Trump, Downton Abbey, Drosophila, epigenetics, experimental economics, gender pay gap, George Akerlof, glass ceiling, helicopter parent, longitudinal study, meta analysis, meta-analysis, phenotype, publication bias, risk tolerance
It’s simply not possible to designate any one way of life as representative of “male sexuality” or “female sexuality.” So, too, for parental care: although greater maternal care seems to be universal across time and place, both mothers and fathers can be negligent and abusive, or loving and attentive, while cultural norms span from wet nurses to breast-feeding on demand, from boarding schools and thrashings to permissive, helicopter parenting. And as Wood and Eagly document, although it’s universal for human societies to have a division of labor by sex, how those roles are shared, and what they involve, vary markedly across time, place, and circumstance, depending on the demands of the “cultural, socioeconomic, and ecological environment.”67 These very open-ended outcomes would be more easily achieved by a developmental pathway that runs from sex to socialization to the brain (and hormones, as we’ll come to in a later chapter), rather than by an inflexible direct path from sex to brain.68 True, human societies’ allocation of sex roles isn’t always arbitrary: some roles are universally performed more commonly by one sex or the other.
The Great Fragmentation: And Why the Future of All Business Is Small by Steve Sammartino
3D printing, additive manufacturing, Airbnb, augmented reality, barriers to entry, Bill Gates: Altair 8800, bitcoin, BRICs, Buckminster Fuller, citizen journalism, collaborative consumption, cryptocurrency, David Heinemeier Hansson, disruptive innovation, Elon Musk, fiat currency, Frederick Winslow Taylor, game design, Google X / Alphabet X, haute couture, helicopter parent, illegal immigration, index fund, Jeff Bezos, jimmy wales, Kickstarter, knowledge economy, Law of Accelerating Returns, lifelogging, market design, Metcalfe's law, Minecraft, minimum viable product, Network effects, new economy, peer-to-peer, post scarcity, prediction markets, pre–internet, profit motive, race to the bottom, random walk, Ray Kurzweil, recommendation engine, remote working, RFID, Rubik’s Cube, self-driving car, sharing economy, side project, Silicon Valley, Silicon Valley startup, skunkworks, Skype, social graph, social web, software is eating the world, Steve Jobs, survivorship bias, too big to fail, US Airways Flight 1549, web application, zero-sum game
Every product in the fridge, cupboard and bathroom medicine cabinet will be connected (mostly through packaging) and be able to provide data. The fridge, cupboard and bathroom will also know what’s in them. Every piece of furniture, and every entry and exit point to the home will be connected. We’ll have live, HD-quality cam feeds in every room on demand. Every toy will augment our children’s playtime and provide peace of mind to helicopter parents. Every piece of sporting equipment will provide valued performance feedback to the weekend warrior (we already do this with our phones). The building materials in new houses and gardens, such as hoses and web-screen windows, will provide home hacking data. Municipality garbage bins will have detectors in them ensuring the web-enabled packaging of trash goes in the correct bin. You get the picture.
Lurking: How a Person Became a User by Joanne McNeil
4chan, A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace, Ada Lovelace, Airbnb, AltaVista, Amazon Mechanical Turk, Burning Man, Chelsea Manning, Chris Wanstrath, citation needed, cloud computing, crowdsourcing, delayed gratification, dematerialisation, don't be evil, Donald Trump, drone strike, Edward Snowden, Elon Musk, feminist movement, Firefox, Google Earth, Google Glasses, Google Hangouts, helicopter parent, Internet Archive, invention of the telephone, Jeff Bezos, jimmy wales, l'esprit de l'escalier, Marc Andreessen, Mark Zuckerberg, Marshall McLuhan, means of production, Menlo Park, moral panic, move fast and break things, move fast and break things, Network effects, packet switching, PageRank, pre–internet, profit motive, QAnon, recommendation engine, Saturday Night Live, Shoshana Zuboff, Silicon Valley, slashdot, Snapchat, social graph, Stephen Hawking, Steve Jobs, Steven Levy, Stewart Brand, technoutopianism, Ted Nelson, Tim Cook: Apple, trade route, Turing complete, We are the 99%, web application, white flight, Whole Earth Catalog
She also noticed a race and ethnic division between platforms—black and Latino teens tended to use Myspace, and white and Asian teens flocked to Facebook. Among the factors for this switch was the number of moral panic stories about child predators on Myspace. People who didn’t worry about their kids meeting older men in hotel rooms in the nineties—either because their kids weren’t old enough then, or they weren’t online—had new fears over Myspace riffraff. Facebook, associated with the university where every helicopter parent dreams of sending their kids, had none of that stigma. Myspace was transparently scuzzy and unabashedly vulgar, but that was preferable to covert slime. The industry-standard social media origin story is that a young white man wanted to look at women online and had a eureka moment about how to make money off the prototype. Many are loath to admit it now, but the “Hot or Not” web page for ranking attractiveness is at least as much of an influence in Silicon Valley as The Whole Earth Catalog or the Homebrew Computer Club.
The Meritocracy Trap: How America's Foundational Myth Feeds Inequality, Dismantles the Middle Class, and Devours the Elite by Daniel Markovits
"Robert Solow", 8-hour work day, activist fund / activist shareholder / activist investor, affirmative action, Anton Chekhov, asset-backed security, assortative mating, basic income, Bernie Sanders, big-box store, business cycle, capital asset pricing model, Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, carried interest, collateralized debt obligation, collective bargaining, computer age, corporate governance, corporate raider, crony capitalism, David Brooks, deskilling, Detroit bankruptcy, disruptive innovation, Donald Trump, Edward Glaeser, Emanuel Derman, equity premium, European colonialism, everywhere but in the productivity statistics, fear of failure, financial innovation, financial intermediation, fixed income, Ford paid five dollars a day, Frederick Winslow Taylor, full employment, future of work, gender pay gap, George Akerlof, Gini coefficient, glass ceiling, helicopter parent, high net worth, hiring and firing, income inequality, industrial robot, interchangeable parts, invention of agriculture, Jaron Lanier, Jeff Bezos, job automation, job satisfaction, John Maynard Keynes: Economic Possibilities for our Grandchildren, knowledge economy, knowledge worker, Kodak vs Instagram, labor-force participation, longitudinal study, low skilled workers, manufacturing employment, Mark Zuckerberg, Martin Wolf, mass incarceration, medical residency, minimum wage unemployment, Myron Scholes, Nate Silver, New Economic Geography, new economy, offshore financial centre, Paul Samuelson, payday loans, plutocrats, Plutocrats, Plutonomy: Buying Luxury, Explaining Global Imbalances, precariat, purchasing power parity, rent-seeking, Richard Florida, Robert Gordon, Robert Shiller, Robert Shiller, Ronald Reagan, savings glut, school choice, shareholder value, Silicon Valley, Simon Kuznets, six sigma, Skype, stakhanovite, stem cell, Steve Jobs, supply-chain management, telemarketer, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, Thomas Davenport, Thorstein Veblen, too big to fail, total factor productivity, transaction costs, traveling salesman, universal basic income, unpaid internship, Vanguard fund, War on Poverty, Winter of Discontent, women in the workforce, working poor, young professional, zero-sum game
The young rich today diligently study and doggedly train, with a constant eye on tests and admissions competitions, intent on acquiring and then demonstrating the human capital needed to sustain them as superordinate workers in adulthood. Their parents, moreover, organize much of adult life around the competition to preserve caste: they read, study, train, worry, and even marry and stay married alongside their children, and on account of ambitions for their children. Helicopter parenting is just superordinate labor applied to the project of reproducing status in a meritocratic regime. The strain of all this competitive effort builds over time, to produce measurable harms. In wealthy districts of Seoul, where students work harder than anyplace else in the world, the rates of curvature of the spine have more than doubled in the last decade, and doctors have named a new malady—“turtleneck syndrome”—in which a “child’s head hunches forward anxiously.”
See labor market polarization Goldin, Claudia, 347n(120), 363n(161), 372n(183), 376n188), 380n(209), 389nn(240, 242), 392nn(248), 393nn(251–52), 394n(252) Goldman Sachs and charisma of meritocracy, xi and classical liberalism, 214 and elite income explosion, 164 and fraud, 17 and human capital, 38 and luxury goods, 220 work intensity, 43, 190, 191 Great Compression, 47, 51, 102, 201, 218 Great Depression, xvii, 77, 79, 81, 274 Great Recession, 66, 102, 104, 181 See also financial crisis (2007–8) Griswold, A. Whitney, 112, 113 Groton, 111 GTE, 246 Gulf War (1990–91), 205 Harrington, Michael, 99–100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 107 Harvard Business School, 143–44, 184 Harvard Law School, 8 Harvard University, xi, 6, 25, 112 helicopter parenting, 154 Heller, Walter, 101 Hemingway, Ernest, 32, 47, 50, 51, 201 Henderson, Bruce, 245–46 Hewlet, Sylvia Ann, 315nn(10), 316n(12), 321n(32), 324n(44), 333nn(83), 338n(96), 339n(97), 368n(177), 376n(190), 377nn(191) hiring practices, 203–4 Ho, Karen, 313n(xi), 315nn(10), 316n(11), 320n(32), 332nn(82), 338nn(96–97), 339n(98), 362nn(157), 363n(164), 365nn(168), 377n(191), 378nn(192–93), 389n(239), 390n(343), 391n(246) Hochschild, Arlie Russell, 321n(32), 324n(44), 329n(63), 330nn(63, 68), 333nn(83), 377n(191), 379n(205), 381nn(215–16), 385n(227), 387n(282) home mortgage lending, 164–67, 236 homeschooling, 125 housing prices, 25, 46, 48, 56, 225–26, 234 Hoxby, Caroline M., 354n(133), 355n(133), 357n(138), 358nn(138–39), 360n(149), 372n(183) human capital, 35–41 and alienation, 37–38, 39–41, 193 vs. aristocratic wealth, 35–36 and competition, 37, 154 and elite childhood, 119–23, 131, 207 and elite education, 38–39, 115, 116, 154 and elite income explosion, 36 and elite work, 38, 39 and geographical concentration, 224 and innovation-based labor market polarization, 239–40, 248–50, 251–52, 254, 259 and marriage, 118 and midcentury management, 171 and military research, 237 mobility of, 49 resilience of, 150 and resource curse, 257 as self-exploitation, 40–41, 44, 78, 155, 262 and shared interest, 285 See also elite educational investment Hunter College High School, 151–54 IBM, 140–41, 174 Icahn, Carl, 173 identity politics, xvii, 57, 60–61, 62, 63, 64, 272 See also nativism inclusion.
Maphead: Charting the Wide, Weird World of Geography Wonks by Ken Jennings
Asperger Syndrome, augmented reality, Bartolomé de las Casas, Berlin Wall, Boris Johnson, British Empire, clean water, David Brooks, digital map, don't be evil, dumpster diving, Eratosthenes, game design, Google Earth, helicopter parent, hive mind, index card, John Harrison: Longitude, John Snow's cholera map, Mercator projection, Mercator projection distort size, especially Greenland and Africa, Mikhail Gorbachev, New Journalism, openstreetmap, place-making, Ronald Reagan, Saturday Night Live, Skype, Stewart Brand, Tacoma Narrows Bridge, traveling salesman, urban planning
American parents often cite “stranger danger,” without seeming aware that only 115 U.S. children are abducted by strangers every year—almost a one-in-a-million occurrence, not something to base a lifestyle on. Yet 82 percent of U.S. moms cite safety concerns as a reason to bar their kids from even leaving the house. Dear Abby recently urged parents to take a picture of their kids every morning before they head to school, so they’ll always have an up-to-the-minute photo in case of abduction. That’s not just helicopter parenting. That’s, like, Airwolf parenting. I’m part of the problem myself—this particular paragraph is getting written only because I plopped my young daughter down in front of the TV to watch Yo Gabba Gabba!, whereas thirty years ago my mom probably would have told me, “Go play outside.” But I worry about what my two children are missing, living in this unbrave new world where kids can’t spend a summer day out building forts and climbing trees.
The Meritocracy Myth by Stephen J. McNamee
affirmative action, Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, American ideology, Bernie Madoff, British Empire, business cycle, collective bargaining, computer age, conceptual framework, corporate governance, deindustrialization, delayed gratification, demographic transition, desegregation, deskilling, equal pay for equal work, estate planning, failed state, fixed income, gender pay gap, Gini coefficient, glass ceiling, helicopter parent, income inequality, informal economy, invisible hand, job automation, joint-stock company, labor-force participation, longitudinal study, low-wage service sector, marginal employment, Mark Zuckerberg, mortgage debt, mortgage tax deduction, new economy, New Urbanism, obamacare, occupational segregation, old-boy network, pink-collar, plutocrats, Plutocrats, Ponzi scheme, post-industrial society, prediction markets, profit motive, race to the bottom, random walk, school choice, Scientific racism, Steve Jobs, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, The Spirit Level, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, too big to fail, trickle-down economics, upwardly mobile, We are the 99%, white flight, young professional
Privileged parents are also more likely themselves to have high educational attainment and to be familiar with “how the system works” and to “work the system” to maximize advantages for their own children, intervening on their behalf, sometimes aggressively, with teachers, principals, and other administrators (Lareau and Weininger 2003). Such aggressive privileged parents are commonly referred to by teachers and school administrators as “helicopter” parents. As birthrates have declined, especially among the privileged, there is some speculation that privileged parents are even more aggressive in investing in the futures of the fewer children they now have compared to prior generations. In the past, more children meant an increase in the odds that at least some would succeed even without aggressive parental intervention. Parents may feel more pressure with fewer children to advance the futures of each of the one or two children they are likely to have.
The Nanny State Made Me: A Story of Britain and How to Save It by Stuart Maconie
banking crisis, basic income, Bernie Sanders, bitcoin, Boris Johnson, British Empire, cognitive dissonance, collective bargaining, Corn Laws, David Attenborough, Desert Island Discs, don't be evil, Downton Abbey, Elon Musk, Etonian, failed state, Francis Fukuyama: the end of history, full employment, G4S, Gordon Gekko, greed is good, helicopter parent, hiring and firing, housing crisis, job automation, Mark Zuckerberg, market fundamentalism, Marshall McLuhan, North Sea oil, Own Your Own Home, plutocrats, Plutocrats, rent control, Right to Buy, road to serfdom, Silicon Valley, The Chicago School, universal basic income, Winter of Discontent
It makes me think, not of SUVs in Fulham, but of Kes or Tom Courtenay in The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. Damp northern winters filmed in black-and-white. Frozen cross-country quagmire slogs in the foggy November dusk. Being yelled at by grimacing PT teacher Alec Hurst, hands on hips in a black tracksuit at the top of Gathurst Hill. ‘School run’, in its (hardly more) pleasant modern associations of traffic jams, exhaust fumes, harassed ‘helicopter’ parents and impractical four-wheeled drive monstrosities in tiny suburban streets, is a term largely unheard until the 1990s. During my 70s schooldays, no one was driven to school except perhaps Jacob Rees-Mogg and the cast of Grange Hill at the height of their fame. Even as late as the 90s, 61 per cent of kids in Britain walked to school. It’s now less than half. It’s not just tiny tots with Paw Patrol lunchboxes being chauffeured thus, but strapping, gangling six-foot youths who look like Olympic rowers.
Leaving Orbit: Notes From the Last Days of American Spaceflight by Margaret Lazarus Dean
affirmative action, Elon Musk, helicopter parent, index card, Joan Didion, low earth orbit, Mars Rover, Nelson Mandela, New Journalism, Norman Mailer, operation paperclip, orbital mechanics / astrodynamics, Richard Feynman, Richard Feynman: Challenger O-ring, risk tolerance, sensible shoes
Yet they misunderstand the vehicle’s capabilities and estimate insanely high numbers for its cost. Will they hang on to the new numbers I have given them and a new idea that a government agency has achieved a lot with a little? We’re always being told unkind things about this generation of Millennials—that they are annoyingly attached to their devices and social networks, that their sense of entitlement leaves them without any work ethic, that their helicopter parents have made them helpless to care for themselves or others. This has not been my experience of them. Like young people of any generation, they think they are the first to experience everything. Like young people of any generation, they lack a sense of history. They are alarmingly vague about the events that seemed so earth-shattering to their elders, but so was my generation and so was my parents’.
Work Rules!: Insights From Inside Google That Will Transform How You Live and Lead by Laszlo Bock
Airbnb, Albert Einstein, AltaVista, Atul Gawande, Black Swan, book scanning, Burning Man, call centre, Cass Sunstein, Checklist Manifesto, choice architecture, citizen journalism, clean water, correlation coefficient, crowdsourcing, Daniel Kahneman / Amos Tversky, deliberate practice, en.wikipedia.org, experimental subject, Frederick Winslow Taylor, future of work, Google Earth, Google Glasses, Google Hangouts, Google X / Alphabet X, Googley, helicopter parent, immigration reform, Internet Archive, longitudinal study, Menlo Park, mental accounting, meta analysis, meta-analysis, Moneyball by Michael Lewis explains big data, nudge unit, PageRank, Paul Buchheit, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Rana Plaza, random walk, Richard Thaler, Rubik’s Cube, self-driving car, shareholder value, side project, Silicon Valley, six sigma, statistical model, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs, Steven Levy, Steven Pinker, survivorship bias, TaskRabbit, The Wisdom of Crowds, Tony Hsieh, Turing machine, winner-take-all economy, Y2K
The rest of the day is filled with product demonstrations, where parents can check out our self-driving cars or stand in a twenty-foot-tall room with Google Earth projected all around them, explore the campus, and then join a special TGIF hosted by Larry and our senior team. We now host these days in more than nineteen offices, including Beijing, Colombia, Haifa, Tokyo, London, and New York City, and add more each year. Take Your Parents to Work Day isn’t about humoring helicopter parents who continue to coddle their fully grown children. Instead, it’s a chance for us to say thank you and broaden the Google family. Not surprisingly, our parents are incredibly proud of us and, surprisingly, most of them have no idea what we do for a living. Helping them appreciate the impact their children have, even when those children are fifty years old, is heartwarming. I was stopped a dozen times by parents with tears in their eyes, delighted at the chance to get closer to their children, and grateful to be recognized for having raised such amazing people.
Coming Apart: The State of White America, 1960-2010 by Charles Murray
affirmative action, assortative mating, blue-collar work, Community Supported Agriculture, corporate governance, David Brooks, en.wikipedia.org, feminist movement, George Gilder, Haight Ashbury, happiness index / gross national happiness, helicopter parent, illegal immigration, income inequality, job satisfaction, labor-force participation, longitudinal study, low skilled workers, Menlo Park, new economy, Ralph Nader, Richard Florida, Silicon Valley, Steve Jobs, The Bell Curve by Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, Unsafe at Any Speed, War on Poverty, working-age population, young professional
It is not urban legend, but documented fact, that some parents send their children to test-preparation schools for the entrance test to exclusive preschools.19 The lengths to which some parents will go to maximize their child’s chance to get into a prestigious college are apparently without limit. And the hovering behavior of these parents once the child has gone to college is so common that it has led to a phrase for them—“helicopter parents”—that is in common use among the administrators of America’s universities. Considerable social science research has also found that elite parents’ constant praise of their children can backfire, because it so often consists of telling children how smart they are, not of praising children for things they actually do. As a result, many children become protective of their image of being smart and are reluctant to take chances that might damage that image.20 Other mothers love their children just as much as upper-class mothers do, but their children experience different upbringings, with cultural implications in the long term.
The Push by Tommy Caldwell
He was famous for his cavalier view of risk, and Becca knew he wasn’t going to tighten up his program just because he was climbing with a father. She was right about everything. I didn’t know what to think, what to do. But God, how I love places like Patagonia. Climbing is about personal discovery, fulfilling your own wants. Child-rearing is about giving yourself to someone else. How much of being a good parent is the ability to recognize when you need to feed yourself? We all see examples of helicopter parents, families where the kids are the nucleus, and everything becomes about providing for them, even micromanaging them. Parents can lose themselves, lose each other. Most of the families I know have a line item in their budget for a psychiatrist. It’s so hard to get the balance right. Becca was skeptical, but she also saw my burning desire, how climbing nourishes me and provides me something to give.
Unacceptable: Privilege, Deceit & the Making of the College Admissions Scandal by Melissa Korn, Jennifer Levitz
"side hustle", affirmative action, barriers to entry, blockchain, call centre, Donald Trump, Gordon Gekko, helicopter parent, high net worth, Jeffrey Epstein, Maui Hawaii, medical residency, Menlo Park, performance metric, rolodex, Ronald Reagan, Sand Hill Road, Saturday Night Live, side project, Silicon Valley, Snapchat, stealth mode startup, Steve Jobs, telemarketer, Thorstein Veblen, unpaid internship, upwardly mobile, yield management, young professional, zero-sum game
Another shift also defined the moment: Well-educated parents with disposable incomes could afford to worry about details like whether Jimmy had practiced piano enough. Obsessing over the little things can be a luxury, and these parents, often younger baby boomers, hovered over their children, teens, and young adults, intervening when things got even the slightest bit tough and earning the moniker “helicopter parents.” Wealthy parents have long tried to leverage influence over their children’s education, but now they were more proactive than ever and began to increasingly try to “fix it.” They complained about teachers who graded too hard and would show up at schools to take petty complaints to high-ranking administrators. Dowling saw a disturbing rise of hubris among parents, but also a buildup of something even more striking: parents seemed to be losing trust in their own children.
Alone Together by Sherry Turkle
Albert Einstein, Columbine, global village, Hacker Ethic, helicopter parent, Howard Rheingold, industrial robot, information retrieval, Jacques de Vaucanson, Jaron Lanier, Joan Didion, John Markoff, Kevin Kelly, lifelogging, Loebner Prize, Marshall McLuhan, meta analysis, meta-analysis, Nicholas Carr, Norbert Wiener, Panopticon Jeremy Bentham, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Rodney Brooks, Skype, social intelligence, stem cell, technoutopianism, The Great Good Place, the medium is the message, theory of mind, Turing test, Vannevar Bush, Wall-E, women in the workforce, Year of Magical Thinking
There have been flare-ups; students have gotten into fights. As she and I speak, Julia’s thoughts turn to Columbine and Virginia Tech: “I’m reading a book right now about a school.... It’s about two kids who brought a gun to a dance and keep everyone hostage, and then killed themselves. And it’s a lot like Columbine.... We had an assembly about Columbine just recently.... At a time like that, I’d need my cell phone.” We read much about “helicopter parents.”5 They hail from a generation that does not want to repeat the mistakes of its parents (permitting too much independence too soon) and so hover over their children’s lives. But today our children hover as well. They avoid disconnection at all cost. Some, like Julia, have divorced parents. Some have families broken twice or three times. Some have parents who support their families by working out of state or out of the country.
The Dream Machine: The Untold History of the Notorious V-22 Osprey by Richard Whittle
Tower had seen the XV-15 fly at the 1981 Paris Air Show and had been a tiltrotor supporter ever since. As chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee during his last term in Congress, Tower had helped get the Osprey program started. Since leaving the Senate, Tower had been a U.S. arms control negotiator and run a commission for President Reagan that investigated the Iran-Contra affair. Since May 1988, he had been a $10,000-a-month consultant to Bell Helicopter parent Textron on the Osprey program. The new Bush administration was going to have to cut defense spending to live up to the president-elect’s famous campaign pledge of “no new taxes,” that was clear. With Tower atop the Pentagon, however, the Osprey figured to be safe. After Tower gave his speech that evening in Fort Worth, he wanted a drink, so Horner, Spivey, and the others from Bell joined him for cocktails in the lobby of the Hyatt Regency, formerly the Hotel Texas, where President John F.
Tribe of Mentors: Short Life Advice From the Best in the World by Timothy Ferriss
23andMe, A Pattern Language, agricultural Revolution, Airbnb, Albert Einstein, Bayesian statistics, bitcoin, Black Swan, blockchain, Brownian motion, Buckminster Fuller, Clayton Christensen, cloud computing, cognitive dissonance, Colonization of Mars, corporate social responsibility, cryptocurrency, David Heinemeier Hansson, dematerialisation, don't be evil, double helix, effective altruism, Elon Musk, Ethereum, ethereum blockchain, family office, fear of failure, Gary Taubes, Geoffrey West, Santa Fe Institute, Google Hangouts, Gödel, Escher, Bach, haute couture, helicopter parent, high net worth, In Cold Blood by Truman Capote, income inequality, index fund, Jeff Bezos, job satisfaction, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Kevin Kelly, Lao Tzu, Law of Accelerating Returns, Lyft, Mahatma Gandhi, Marc Andreessen, Marshall McLuhan, Mikhail Gorbachev, minimum viable product, move fast and break things, move fast and break things, Naomi Klein, non-fiction novel, Peter Thiel, profit motive, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ray Kurzweil, Saturday Night Live, side project, Silicon Valley, Skype, smart cities, smart contracts, Snapchat, Steve Jobs, Steven Pinker, Stewart Brand, TaskRabbit, Tesla Model S, too big to fail, Turing machine, uber lyft, web application, Whole Earth Catalog, Y Combinator
While the conventional wisdom says that coding is the key to success, that’s not as likely to be as true in the Third Wave, when major industries will be disrupted, as it was in the Second, when the focus was on building apps. Sure, coding will continue to be important, but creativity and collaboration will be as well. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Be confident in the skills you have, as they may be make-or-break for the journey you pursue. And third, be fearless. I recognize this is easy to say and hard to do, particularly for a generation that has been raised by hovering helicopter parents who may have encouraged you to stay in the box, and in a world that has been unsettled by job loss and terrorism. But despite all of that, you have to get out of your comfort zone and swing for the fences, knowing that sometimes you will fail. Remember, Babe Ruth was not only the home run king, he was also the strikeout king. If you take risks, you will sometimes fail, but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Cooking for Geeks by Jeff Potter
3D printing, A Pattern Language, carbon footprint, centre right, Community Supported Agriculture, Computer Numeric Control, crowdsourcing, Donald Knuth, double helix, en.wikipedia.org, European colonialism, fear of failure, food miles, functional fixedness, hacker house, haute cuisine, helicopter parent, Internet Archive, iterative process, Kickstarter, Parkinson's law, placebo effect, random walk, Rubik’s Cube, slashdot, stochastic process, the scientific method
Then when we go to try something, we often find it doesn’t work for us the way it seems to for others. Setbacks. Negative feedback. No wonder there’s so much fear of failure: we’ve set ourselves a bar so high that it simply doesn’t exist. There’s a generation of Americans hung up on being perfect. The perfect white teeth, the perfect clothing, the perfect "carefree" tossed-together wardrobe. Helicopter parents. Overly critical Yelp.com reviews that rag on everything, down to who cuts our hair and the food we eat. Insane expectations in reviews on Amazon.com about the books we read. (A good book is one that gives you more value than the cost of the book and your time. Be kind. ;-) ) No wonder why some parts of American society seem to match the DSM-V criteria for schizophrenia: we’re literally going insane trying to be perfect when it just isn’t possible.
Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress by Steven Pinker
3D printing, access to a mobile phone, affirmative action, Affordable Care Act / Obamacare, agricultural Revolution, Albert Einstein, Alfred Russel Wallace, anti-communist, Anton Chekhov, Arthur Eddington, artificial general intelligence, availability heuristic, Ayatollah Khomeini, basic income, Berlin Wall, Bernie Sanders, Black Swan, Bonfire of the Vanities, business cycle, capital controls, Capital in the Twenty-First Century by Thomas Piketty, carbon footprint, clean water, clockwork universe, cognitive bias, cognitive dissonance, Columbine, conceptual framework, correlation does not imply causation, creative destruction, crowdsourcing, cuban missile crisis, Daniel Kahneman / Amos Tversky, dark matter, decarbonisation, deindustrialization, dematerialisation, demographic transition, Deng Xiaoping, distributed generation, diversified portfolio, Donald Trump, Doomsday Clock, double helix, effective altruism, Elon Musk, en.wikipedia.org, end world poverty, endogenous growth, energy transition, European colonialism, experimental subject, Exxon Valdez, facts on the ground, Fall of the Berlin Wall, first-past-the-post, Flynn Effect, food miles, Francis Fukuyama: the end of history, frictionless, frictionless market, germ theory of disease, Gini coefficient, Hans Rosling, hedonic treadmill, helicopter parent, Hobbesian trap, humanitarian revolution, Ignaz Semmelweis: hand washing, income inequality, income per capita, Indoor air pollution, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), invention of writing, Jaron Lanier, Joan Didion, job automation, Johannes Kepler, John Snow's cholera map, Kevin Kelly, Khan Academy, knowledge economy, l'esprit de l'escalier, Laplace demon, life extension, long peace, longitudinal study, Louis Pasteur, Martin Wolf, mass incarceration, meta analysis, meta-analysis, Mikhail Gorbachev, minimum wage unemployment, moral hazard, mutually assured destruction, Naomi Klein, Nate Silver, Nathan Meyer Rothschild: antibiotics, Nelson Mandela, New Journalism, Norman Mailer, nuclear winter, obamacare, open economy, Paul Graham, peak oil, Peter Singer: altruism, Peter Thiel, precision agriculture, prediction markets, purchasing power parity, Ralph Nader, randomized controlled trial, Ray Kurzweil, rent control, Republic of Letters, Richard Feynman, road to serfdom, Robert Gordon, Rodney Brooks, rolodex, Ronald Reagan, Rory Sutherland, Saturday Night Live, science of happiness, Scientific racism, Second Machine Age, secular stagnation, self-driving car, sharing economy, Silicon Valley, Silicon Valley ideology, Simon Kuznets, Skype, smart grid, sovereign wealth fund, stem cell, Stephen Hawking, Steven Pinker, Stewart Brand, Stuxnet, supervolcano, technological singularity, Ted Kaczynski, The Rise and Fall of American Growth, the scientific method, The Signal and the Noise by Nate Silver, The Spirit Level, The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith, The Wisdom of Crowds, Thomas Kuhn: the structure of scientific revolutions, Thomas Malthus, total factor productivity, union organizing, universal basic income, University of East Anglia, Unsafe at Any Speed, Upton Sinclair, uranium enrichment, urban renewal, War on Poverty, We wanted flying cars, instead we got 140 characters, women in the workforce, working poor, World Values Survey, Y2K
Developed countries are actually pretty happy, a majority of all countries have gotten happier, and as long as countries get richer they should get happier still. The dire warnings about plagues of loneliness, suicide, depression, and anxiety don’t survive fact-checking. And though every generation has worried that the next one is in trouble, as younger generations go the Millennials seem to be in pretty good shape, happier and mentally healthier than their helicoptering parents. Still, when it comes to happiness, many people are underachievers. Americans are laggards among their first-world peers, and their happiness has stagnated in the era sometimes called the American Century. The Baby Boomers, despite growing up in peace and prosperity, have proved to be a troubled generation, to the mystification of their parents, who lived through the Great Depression, World War II, and (for many of my peers) the Holocaust.